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Two mathematicians...
(Preview)
Two mathematicians were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A female engineer walked by and asked what they were doing. Were supposed to find the height of this flagpole, said one, but we dont have a ladder. The engineer took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and la...
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aussie_paul
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2
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1378
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Oops...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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885
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Larry the fighter pilot
(Preview)
Larry the Fighter PilotA teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"Little Larry says: "I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest whore, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartm...
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rgren2
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0
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1087
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The Queens Breasts
(Preview)
Once upon a time lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts. Nick the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them, but he had to try. One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Phys...
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Yarra
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1
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1118
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Are my testicles black??
(Preview)
Black Testicles.Archie is lying in a hospital bed, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.Nurse, he mumbles from behind the mask, are my testicles black?Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, I dont know, sir. Im only here to w...
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aussie_paul
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0
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981
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You live and learn!
(Preview)
Bert, 80, always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. So, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, Notice anything different about me?Margaret, 75, looked him over.Nope.Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bat...
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aussie_paul
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0
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1099
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The wall...
(Preview)
Mexicans were asked what they thought of Trump's proposed wall.They replied, "We're very upset ..... but we'll get over it." Aussie Paul.
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aussie_paul
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3
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1318
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The fifth parrot...
(Preview)
Three girls, Jan, Sue and Mary haven't seen each other since leaving school. They rediscover each other via Facebook and arrange to meet for lunch Jan arrives first, wearing a beige Versace dress. She orders a bottle of Pinot Gris. Sue arrives shortly afterward, wearing a grey Chanel n...
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aussie_paul
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0
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991
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Two Farmers
(Preview)
Two farmers, Joe and Bob, lived as neighbors, but didn't like each other much. In 1989, there was a period of -30 degree centigrade cold and Bob and Joe had nothing to do because of it. So they bet a bottle of vodka who can sit out on the window ledge the longest with a bare ass. After two hours Bob's wi...
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Yarra
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0
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1343
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I wish....
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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1033
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Airport Restroom
(Preview)
Jason walks into a restroom in an airport and goes up to a urinal.A man with no arms comes up to him and says: "Hey, can you give me a hand?" Though he feels uncomfortable, he agrees to help.He unzips the man's pants, takes a deep breath, and reaches in and takes out his ~ censor ~, which he is horrified to di...
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Yarra
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0
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897
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Auto-spell problems
(Preview)
Bloody 'auto-spell', it's your worst enema
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Cadpete
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1
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1203
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Wisdom from the Military Manuals
(Preview)
Wisdom from the Military Manuals 'If the enemy is in range, so are you.' - Infantry Journal ------------ --------- --------- --------- 'It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.' - U.S. Air Force Manual ----------- --------- --------- --------- 'Whoeve...
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Yarra
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0
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903
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Any medical concerns
(Preview)
Any Medical Concerns? After his exam, the doctor said to the elderly man: 'You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?' 'In fact, I do,' said the old man. 'After I have sex, I am usually cold and chilly; and then, after I have sex with her the second t...
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Yarra
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0
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824
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Oops...
(Preview)
Aussie Paul. -- Edited by aussie_paul on Thursday 13th of April 2017 07:51:59 PM
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aussie_paul
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1
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1025
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Could be the truth..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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915
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Alrready there???
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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877
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here's a couple
(Preview)
1.You can't run through a camp-site, you can only ran because it's..........past tents. 2.I walked into a bar and ordered a fruit punch.The Bartender says" If you want a punch you'll have to stand in line". I looked around but there was no punch line! 3.People in Dubai don't like the Flinstones, but pe...
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Peterpan
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0
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877
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Senior's cars..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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987
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Smoking in the rain
(Preview)
Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking. Arlene: What in the hell is that? Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet. Arlene: Where did you g...
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Moorey
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866
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