Jason walks into a restroom in an airport and goes up to a urinal.

A man with no arms comes up to him and says: "Hey, can you give me a hand?" 

Though he feels uncomfortable, he agrees to help.

He unzips the man's pants, takes a deep breath, and reaches in and takes out his ~ censor ~, which he is horrified to discover is all green and mouldy.

Imagining the bonus he will get come judgement day, he continues to hold the man's mouldy unit as he urinates, gives it a shake, and zips it back up in his pants. 

"Hey, thanks a lot," the man says 

"No problem. But there is one thing I have to know, what is wrong with your Johnson?" 

Then the man pulls his arms out into his sleeves and says: "I don't know, but until I find out I'm sure not going to touch it!"