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Sir Galahad.
(Preview)
King Arthur was in Merlins laboratory where the good wizard was showing him his latest invention. It was a chastity belt, except it had a rather large hole in the most obvious place. This is no good, Merlin! the king exclaimed, Look at this opening. How is this supposed to protect mlady, the Queen? Ah, s...
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Possum3
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1
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1575
|
|
|
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Logical.
(Preview)
I got chatting with a girl in a bar last night, "Can I buy you a drink?" I asked. "Don't you have a girlfriend?" she replied, "Guys like you always have girlfriends. ""No, sadly we broke up just over a month ago," I assured her. "Oh I'm sorry to hear that," she said, "Go on then, I'll have a Cider please.... A...
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Possum3
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1
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1136
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Art dealer
(Preview)
A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called his client. "Paul, I have some good news, and I have some bad news." The art collector replied, "I've had an awful day. Give me the good news first."The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she's just in...
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Magnarc
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0
|
854
|
|
|
|
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A Few Funnies
(Preview)
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Moorey
|
0
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890
|
|
|
|
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A 17-year-old boy goes into a drug store to buy condoms
(Preview)
A 17-year-old boy goes into a drug store to buy condoms and walks up to the pharmacy counter.The pharmacist asks the young man whether he wants a 3, 9, or 12 pack.Well, Ive been seeing this girl for a few months now, the boy began, and I think tonight is the night. First, were going to have dinner with her pa...
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aussie_paul
|
0
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1083
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|
|
|
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Another lol...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
|
0
|
912
|
|
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Garden of Eden
(Preview)
Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, "What is wrong with you?" Adam said, "Lord, I don't have anyone to talk to." God said, "Then I will give you a companion, and she will be called a 'woman'. This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always a...
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Possum3
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1
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863
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|
|
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COMPLETE vs FINISHED
(Preview)
COMPLETE vs FINISHED Time for a clear, serious grammar lesson.No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between these two words. In a recent linguistic competition held in London and attended by, supposedly, the best in the world, Samdar Balgobin, a Guyanese man...
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aussie_paul
|
0
|
1018
|
|
|
|
|
Should have bought a hat Bert...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
|
0
|
907
|
|
|
|
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Blond/Grey Men
(Preview)
Well FINALLY, it just had to come to this sooner or later! A blond man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?" He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine." ------------------------------ ------ A blond man spies a letter lyin...
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aussie_paul
|
0
|
749
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|
|
|
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Golfer had an accident
(Preview)
A golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him. "I have some good news and some bad news," says the surgeon. "The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!" "Oh God no!" cries the man. "My golfing is over! Plea...
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Woody n Sue
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2
|
915
|
|
|
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Complaints to Councils - UK.
(Preview)
- Extracts from letters written by council tenants: > 1. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow. > ... 2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off. > 3. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his ba...
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Possum3
|
0
|
804
|
|
|
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Never, Never,...Ever...Let the Groom Order The Wedding Cake.......
(Preview)
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Goldfinger
|
3
|
874
|
|
|
|
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Quick thinker...
(Preview)
A hooded robber burst into a North Dakota bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On his way out the door, a brave North Dakota customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off, revealing the robber's face. The robber shot the customer without a moment's hesitation. He then looked around t...
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aussie_paul
|
2
|
1071
|
|
|
|
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Quickie in the Bushes
(Preview)
There are two statues in a park; One of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life. The angel tells them, 'As a reward for being so patient thr...
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Woody2
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1
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1116
|
|
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The Nice Man Became Impatient
(Preview)
A man was riding a bus, minding his own business, when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breast-feed her baby. The baby wouldn't take it, so she said, "Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I'll have to give it to this nice man next to us."Five minutes later, the baby was still not feeding, so she said, "C...
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Yarra
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1
|
1172
|
|
|
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Scottish husband
(Preview)
A thoughtful Scottish husband was putting his coat and hat on to make his way down to the local pub. He turned to his wee wife before leaving and said, "Maggie - put your hat and coat on, lassie." 'She replied, 'Aw, Jock that's nice. Are you taking me tae the pub with you?" 'Nay," Jock replied "I'm t...
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Hendo
|
0
|
883
|
|
|
|
|
A tiny bit rude...
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
960
|
|
|
|
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A little rude..
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
943
|
|
|
|
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Condoms made offshore !!
(Preview)
I see Ansell has been bought out by Chinese company . Through stiff competition Aust condom company has been taken over .. Just what we need at our age !! Hard to believe .. Can imagine the adds ., Lol Dinkum condom . Etc
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Aus-Kiwi
|
4
|
879
|
|
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