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A couple of funnies
(Preview)
*Pharmacist to customer:* *"Sir, please understand, to buy an anti-depression pill you need a proper prescription... Simply showing marriage certificate and wife's picture is not enough."* *A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman - "Which book has helped you most in your life? Th...
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Moorey
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0
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1023
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Two wongs
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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0
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891
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EXPERT OCCUPATION !!
(Preview)
I called an old school friend and asked what was he doing. He replied that he is working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminium and steel under a constrained environment". I was impressed...... On further enquiring I learnt that he was washing dishes with hot water .......Under his...
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kiwijims
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2
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1373
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Things aren't always what they seem " reader discretion required "
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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3
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1410
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Should have got an A+
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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11
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1602
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Old and Pregnant?
(Preview)
A 68 year old woman told her friend over a bingo game that she wanted to have a baby. Her friend, in reasonable disbelief, laughed at her.The 68 year old woman retorted, "Well, I have the apparatus to and with today's technology, I can have a baby."And she did just that. She got pregnant and had a baby boy....
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Yarra
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0
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1221
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An Irish painter by the name of Murphy,
(Preview)
While not a brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist.Over a short number of years, his fame grew and soon people from all over Ireland were coming to the town of Miltown Malbay, in County Clare, to get him to paint their likenesses.One day, a beautiful young English woman arrived at his house in...
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Yarra
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0
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1062
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Gravity Defying Tequila
(Preview)
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out. The guy sitting next to him can't believe what he just saw. He's more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him. The ast...
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Yarra
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0
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924
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Dead Irishman
(Preview)
Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's apartment when Paddy Murphy loses 500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue play standing until Michael O'Connor looks around and asks, "Ok, me lads, s...
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Yarra
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0
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999
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About right . Though some think they are perfect
(Preview)
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Aus-Kiwi
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0
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821
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Showering
(Preview)
How To Shower Like a Woman1. Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according tolights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 3. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 4. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to d...
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rgren2
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1
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1010
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A Telephone Call
(Preview)
At dawn the telephone rings.Hello, Senor Lucky? This is Ernesto the caretaker at your country house.Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor, that your parrot diedMy parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?Si, Senor, t...
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Yarra
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0
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1065
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Situation Joke
(Preview)
A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened."Well, it was like this," says the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, she sliced her ball into a cow pasture. We went to look for it, and while I was searching a...
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Yarra
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0
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894
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Mem'ries.... (Where Did I Put My Keys): A Cartoon from ...
(Preview)
https://www.youtube.com/embed/prfCkIOdeAc?rel=0&controls=0&showinfo=0 Aussie Paul.
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aussie_paul
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5
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1292
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Wisdom with age
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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0
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1087
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Unfortunate question
(Preview)
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values. Bill said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" Larry replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?"
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Magnarc
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1
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1205
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This does not reflect the views of the poster.
(Preview)
The graveside service just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance... The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, "Well, she's there."
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Magnarc
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0
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931
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Duck Tape
(Preview)
An old man was sitting on his front porch down in Louisiana watching the sun rise. He sees the neighbor's kid walk by carrying something big under his arm. He yells out "Hey boy, whatcha got there?" The boy yells back "Roll of chicken wire." Old man says "What you gonna do with that?" Boy says "Gonna catch...
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Yarra
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3
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1074
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So it's true if it's on Internet
(Preview)
i should be there 100,000,000,000 times
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Aus-Kiwi
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0
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953
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Social Security
(Preview)
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realised I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back...
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Yarra
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1
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853
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