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A police officer arrives to a crime scene
(Preview)
Hello, captain. What's the situation?A woman killed her husband. 12 stabs, 2 gunshot wounds, half burnt, and thrown down the stairs.Oh my god, what was the reason?She told us the husband intentionally started walking on the floor which she recently cleaned.Did you arrest her?No. We're waiting fo...
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Yarra
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0
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704
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letter from dead husband
(Preview)
my dead husband A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address!!!! A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter.They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.Because of hectic schedules, it was dif...
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Lesley F
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1
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823
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Home from the sea.
(Preview)
One morning recently a young woman got out of bed, slipped into her robe, raised the shade, uncovered the parrot, put on the coffee pot, answered the phone. She heard an masculine voice say; "Hello, honey. My ship just hit port and I'm coming right over." So the young lady took the coffee pot...
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Possum3
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0
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773
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Adult Fairy Tale
(Preview)
Once upon a time there lived a King. The King had a beautiful daughter, The PRINCESS. But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt. No matter what; Metal, Wood, Stone, Anything she touched would melt. Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her. The Kin...
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Yarra
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1
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973
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The Visa
(Preview)
Pommy bloke fronts up to Australia house in london to get a visa to visit family over here . Bloke behind the counter asks "do you have a criminal record ?" Pommy bloke sighs and replies " is that STILL a requirement...... " -- Edited by Swoffer on Tuesday 10th of November 2015 03...
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Swoffer
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1
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992
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Don't try to outsmart an 'Oldie'!
(Preview)
An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr.Geezer's clinic.Get your treatment for $500, if not cured, get back $1,000."Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans abo...
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Delta18
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0
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765
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Teaching Maths
(Preview)
1. Teaching Maths In 1950s A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production Is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? 2. Teaching Maths In 1970s A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production Is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit? 3. Teac...
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Delta18
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0
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911
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Wheel of life
(Preview)
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Wombat 280
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0
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819
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Accident Reporting
(Preview)
Please complete the forms fully
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Wombat 280
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1
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815
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National Orgasm Day
(Preview)
He turned to his wife in bed and whispered, " Did you know it`s National Orgasm Day?" " Oh what a pity," she smiler, " Right in the middle of National Headache Week!!!!!"
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Phillipn
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0
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932
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Cardoilogist Funeral
(Preview)
This would be an acceptable reason to laugh at a funeral. A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital where he worked for most of his life. A huge heart...... covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service as all the doctors from the hospi...
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Phillipn
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0
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811
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OLD Van Parks
(Preview)
When I arrived at the van park I'm sure I was the only one plug into that pole
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Wombat 280
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0
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822
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Morris & Esther
(Preview)
Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, 'Esther, I'd really like to ride in that helicopter.'Esther always replied, 'I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars' One year Esther and Morris went to t...
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gregroz
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0
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729
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That's How The Fight Started
(Preview)
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" And that's how the fight started..... My wife and I were watching Who Want...
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Yarra
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1
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863
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Wrong Number
(Preview)
"Hello?", "Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mummy near the phone?" "No Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul." After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul." "Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mum...
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Yarra
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0
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781
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History with a smile
(Preview)
Poem by Willie Nelson The younger generation may not know it but at one time Willie Nelson was songwriter of the year. Such songs as "Hello Wall", "Crazy" sung by Patsy Cline ,"Funny how Time Slips Away" and a host of other favorites. He is also a well recogniz...
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Young Simmo
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3
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919
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Only people from Yorkshire will understand. (some too bloody hard for my old brain)
(Preview)
The man from Barnsley 1) A Barnsley man goes to the vet: Man : Can yer stopme cat weein all rahnd thouse? Vet: Is it a Tom? Man : Nor, its in tbasket. 18 caret 2) A Yorkshiremans dog dies and and as it was his favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by. Yorkshirema...
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Possum3
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0
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870
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IF THIS DOESN’T MAKE YOU SMILE, CALL A DOCTOR !
(Preview)
1 minute 3 seconds of delight, Enjoyhttps://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/vnVuqfXohxc?rel=0&%3bshowinfo=0K.J.
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kiwijims
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0
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871
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10 Science Jokes for Nerds
(Preview)
1. Im reading a great book on anti-gravity. I cant put it down. 2. I have a new theory on inertia but it doesnt seem to be gaining momentum. 3. Why cant atheists solve exponential equations? Because they dont believe in higher powers. 4. Schrodingers cat walks into a bar. And doesnt. 5. Do you know the nam...
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Possum3
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4
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940
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OK, Take your pick.
(Preview)
I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject t o blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have...
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Young Simmo
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0
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892
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