Just Joking

oldbloke · oldbloke

A police officer pulled over a bloke and asked him for his license, the bloke said "sorry I must have left it at home". The officer said "Ok, can you at least identify yourself"So the bloke adjusted his rear view mirror, took a quick look at himself and said: "Yes, it's me."

kiwijims · kiwijims

A WOMAN was flying from Melbourne to Brisbane . Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sydney Along the way. The flight attendant explained that There would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted To get off the aircraft the plane would re-board In 50 minutes. Everybody got off the plane except one...

Possum3 · Possum3

When I was in the pub last-night I overheard a couple of d1ckheads saying that they wouldn't feel safe on a Aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman! What a pair of sexist Tw*ts. I mean, it's not as if she'd have to reverse the flaming thing is it?. -- Edited by Possum3 on Tuesday 11th of July 2017 04:09:0...

kiwijims · kiwijims

K.J.

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

Hoo Roo.

Possum3 · Possum3

Ma and Pa were two hillbillies living out on a farm up in the hills. Pa has found out that the hole under the outhouse is full. He goes into the house and tells Ma that he doesn't know what to do to empty the hole. Ma says, "Why don't you go ask the young'n down the road? He must be smart 'cause he's a college grad...

Possum3 · Possum3

A husband and wife lost their jobs at the underwear factory, so attended the social Welfare to sign on. After they had finished, Paddy turned to the wife and asked "How Much a week did you get?" Mavis looked at her husband and said 350pw, what about you? Paddy Replied " 500pw" "That's outrageous discrim...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

YOU CAN TELL 'EM IN CHURCH Two boys were walking home from Sunday schoolafter hearing a strong preaching on the devil.One said to the other, 'What do you think aboutall this Satan stuff?'The other boy replied, 'Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your Dad.'~~~~~~~...

Woody2 · Woody2

An old gentleman lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament: Dear Vincent, I am feeling...

Woody2 · Woody2

A man was riding on a full bus minding his own business when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breast-feed her baby. The baby wouldn't take it so she said, "Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I'll have to give it to this nice man next to us." Five minutes later the baby was still not feeding, so she sa...

Woody2 · Woody2

A man entered the bus with both of his front pants pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, 'It's golf balls'. Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at hi...

RustyD · RustyD

A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA, and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your i...

Woody2 · Woody2

Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.' The question was worth 70 points or none at all. One student was hard put to think of seven advantages. He wrote:1) It is perfect formula f...

Woody2 · Woody2

A doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired. At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her. As the doctor was looking through these his eyes grew wide as he realized Grandma had a prescripti...

Woody2 · Woody2

This is something that happened at an assisted living center. The people who lived there have small apartments but they all eat at a central cafeteria. One morning one of the residents didn't show up for breakfast so my wife went upstairs and knocked on his door to see if everything was OK. She could hea...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul. -- Edited by aussie_paul on Thursday 6th of July 2017 11:28:58 AM

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Getting Old Should Require Training ... I bought a new stick deodorant today. The instructions said: "Remove cap and push up bottom." It hurts to walk, but whenever I fart, the room smells lovely .

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Where's your licence? (Preview) A police officer pulled over a bloke and asked him for his license, the bloke said "sorry I must have left it at home". The officer said "Ok, can you at least identify yourself"So the bloke adjusted his rear view mirror, took a quick look at himself and said: "Yes, it's me."	oldbloke	0	812	01:14 PM Jul 15, 2017 by oldbloke
	WALKING THE DOG...... (Preview) A WOMAN was flying from Melbourne to Brisbane . Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sydney Along the way. The flight attendant explained that There would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted To get off the aircraft the plane would re-board In 50 minutes. Everybody got off the plane except one...	kiwijims	1	1048	07:52 PM Jul 11, 2017 by Woody2
	Another Airline (Preview) When I was in the pub last-night I overheard a couple of d1ckheads saying that they wouldn't feel safe on a Aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman! What a pair of sexist Twts. I mean, it's not as if she'd have to reverse the flaming thing is it?. -- Edited by Possum3 on Tuesday 11th of July 2017 04:09:0...*	Possum3	1	961	06:43 PM Jul 11, 2017 by Felicia
	Irish Text (Preview) K.J.	kiwijims	0	897	06:06 AM Jul 11, 2017 by kiwijims
	Makes perfect sense to me.... (Preview) Hoo Roo.	Goldfinger	1	891	10:55 PM Jul 10, 2017 by warhorse
	Ma & Pa (Preview) Ma and Pa were two hillbillies living out on a farm up in the hills. Pa has found out that the hole under the outhouse is full. He goes into the house and tells Ma that he doesn't know what to do to empty the hole. Ma says, "Why don't you go ask the young'n down the road? He must be smart 'cause he's a college grad...	Possum3	0	956	10:12 PM Jul 9, 2017 by Possum3
	Diesel Fitter (Preview) A husband and wife lost their jobs at the underwear factory, so attended the social Welfare to sign on. After they had finished, Paddy turned to the wife and asked "How Much a week did you get?" Mavis looked at her husband and said 350pw, what about you? Paddy Replied " 500pw" "That's outrageous discrim...	Possum3	0	920	09:35 AM Jul 9, 2017 by Possum3
	YOU CAN TELL 'EM IN CHURCH... (Preview) YOU CAN TELL 'EM IN CHURCH Two boys were walking home from Sunday schoolafter hearing a strong preaching on the devil.One said to the other, 'What do you think aboutall this Satan stuff?'The other boy replied, 'Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your Dad.'*~~~~~~~...*	aussie_paul	1	915	07:09 AM Jul 9, 2017 by Blues Man
	You can now plant the tomatoes (Preview) An old gentleman lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament: Dear Vincent, I am feeling...	Woody2	2	758	07:05 AM Jul 9, 2017 by Blues Man
	Breast feeding baby (Preview) A man was riding on a full bus minding his own business when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breast-feed her baby. The baby wouldn't take it so she said, "Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I'll have to give it to this nice man next to us." Five minutes later the baby was still not feeding, so she sa...	Woody2	1	827	07:00 AM Jul 9, 2017 by Blues Man
	Does it hurt (Preview) A man entered the bus with both of his front pants pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, 'It's golf balls'. Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at hi...	Woody2	1	968	06:56 AM Jul 9, 2017 by Blues Man
	A Message from Bessie Windsor (Preview) A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA, and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your i...	RustyD	0	832	04:45 PM Jul 8, 2017 by RustyD
	Advantages of mothers milk (Preview) Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.' The question was worth 70 points or none at all. One student was hard put to think of seven advantages. He wrote:1) It is perfect formula f...	Woody2	0	742	07:46 PM Jul 7, 2017 by Woody2
	You gotta love Grandmas! (Preview) A doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired. At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her. As the doctor was looking through these his eyes grew wide as he realized Grandma had a prescripti...	Woody2	0	770	07:41 PM Jul 7, 2017 by Woody2
	Is this what we have to look forward too (Preview) This is something that happened at an assisted living center. The people who lived there have small apartments but they all eat at a central cafeteria. One morning one of the residents didn't show up for breakfast so my wife went upstairs and knocked on his door to see if everything was OK. She could hea...	Woody2	0	757	07:37 PM Jul 7, 2017 by Woody2
	Gated... (Preview) Aussie Paul. -- Edited by aussie_paul on Thursday 6th of July 2017 11:28:58 AM	aussie_paul	1	822	02:11 PM Jul 6, 2017 by Tony Bev
	Marine enters the Catholic Church confessional.. (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	0	900	01:52 PM Jul 6, 2017 by aussie_paul
	Getting Old Should Require Training ... (Preview) Getting Old Should Require Training ... I bought a new stick deodorant today. The instructions said: "Remove cap and push up bottom." It hurts to walk, but whenever I fart, the room smells lovely .	aussie_paul	3	821	08:56 PM Jul 5, 2017 by RustyD
	Another lol. (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	0	761	08:10 PM Jul 5, 2017 by aussie_paul
	Enjoyment.. (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	0	833	08:09 PM Jul 5, 2017 by aussie_paul
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