Just Joking

Magnarc · Magnarc

Odd Ode No 4. The following is attributed to Giles Cholmondely-Smythe, 1870-1912, Poet, Thespian and well known soak. A fart is a pleasant thing, It gives the bowel great ease, It warms the bed on a frosty night, and suffocates the fleas.

deverall11 · deverall11

What is the definition of suspicious? When your hotdog develops veins

Chicken strangler · Chicken strangler

Pic did not show -- Edited by Chicken strangler on Saturday 28th of October 2017 12:16:36 PM

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Bill Shorten fans.Not really knowing what a Shorten fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny. The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different... again. Little John...

rockylizard · rockylizard

The woman asked the pharmacist, "Do you have Viagra?" "Yes," he answered. She asked, "Does it work?" "Yes," he answered. She said, "Can you get it over the counter?" "I can, if I take two," he replied.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

rgren2 · rgren2

Did you hear about the Kiwi that come to Australia ??? He thought that the Canning Stock Route, was an annual event.

Possum3 · Possum3

A Duck started to cross the road and a chicken said "Don't do it!" - you'll never hear the end of it.

RustyD · RustyD

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, British scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago. Not to be outdone by the British, in the weeks that followed, an American archa...

67HR · 67HR

A widowed Jewish lady, still in good shape, was sunbathing on a totally deserted beach near Tel-Aviv. She looked up and noticed that a man her age, also in good shape, had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand near hers and began reading a book. Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation w...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

Cupie · Cupie

OLD BLUE We pensioned off old Blue the dog when old age got him down We sent him for company to old Grandma in the town But while Granny was elated Blue still craved the great out doors and he would roam the town exploring while old granny did the chores So it was this sunday morning Blue was fossicking...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A Day At The Horse Races.... Two female teachers took a group of students from grades 1, 2 and 3 for a field trip to Flemington Racecourse. When it was time to take the children to the 'bathroom', it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.The teacher assig...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

Possum3 · Possum3

An old couple is sitting on their couch, and the woman turns to her husband. If I died tomorrow, would you still want to get married again at your age? The husband shrugs. Well, I wouldnt want to be lonely so yes. The wife shoots him a dirty look. Would you live in our house with your new wife? Well, the house...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

I lost my s*i*. Quite literallySo today's visit to a Tesco store where Daddy (maintenance) was showing his Fire Engine to the public. A pleasant experience for all. We dropped off his lunch had a go at being the neee nooor driver and returned to the car.When I got back to my car an oversized, too old to be a...

oldbloke · oldbloke

For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, Larry was concerned about the plates as it appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, Are you sure these plates are clean?Without looking up the old man said, I told you before, those dishes are as clean as cold water ca...

oldbloke · oldbloke

An old priest lay dying in Woden's, Canberra Hospital. He had served the people near the nation's capital, at Manuka for many years.He motioned for the nurse to come near."Yes father?" said the nurse."I would really like to see Malcolm Turnbull and Bill Shorten before I die" whispered the priest....

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

For the teachers.... Fred was saying his prayers as his father passed by his bedroom door."God bless Mommy, and God bless Daddy, and please make Calais the capital of France.""Fred," said his father, "why do you want Calais to be the capital of France?""Because that's what I wrote in my geography tes...

Possum3 · Possum3

During a funeral, the Pallbearers accidentally bump into a wall and hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the Lady inside was actually still alive. The Lady lives for another 10 years and then dies. There is another funeral for her. At the end of the service the Pallbearers are carrying...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Bits and pieces (Preview) Odd Ode No 4. The following is attributed to Giles Cholmondely-Smythe, 1870-1912, Poet, Thespian and well known soak. A fart is a pleasant thing, It gives the bowel great ease, It warms the bed on a frosty night, and suffocates the fleas.	Magnarc	0	879	09:39 AM Nov 1, 2017 by Magnarc
	Suspicious (Preview) What is the definition of suspicious? When your hotdog develops veins	deverall11	0	1042	12:23 PM Oct 31, 2017 by deverall11
	Proof they exist (Preview) Pic did not show -- Edited by Chicken strangler on Saturday 28th of October 2017 12:16:36 PM	Chicken strangler	9	1592	07:15 AM Oct 31, 2017 by Blues Man
	Little Johnny - Some kids are smart !!!! (Preview) A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Bill Shorten fans.Not really knowing what a Shorten fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny. The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different... again. Little John...	aussie_paul	2	990	07:01 AM Oct 30, 2017 by Blues Man
	Pharmacist (Preview) The woman asked the pharmacist, "Do you have Viagra?" "Yes," he answered. She asked, "Does it work?" "Yes," he answered. She said, "Can you get it over the counter?" "I can, if I take two," he replied.	rockylizard	1	1335	06:59 AM Oct 30, 2017 by Blues Man
	Romantic!!!! (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	0	1024	02:48 PM Oct 28, 2017 by aussie_paul
	Kiwi (Preview) Did you hear about the Kiwi that come to Australia ??? He thought that the Canning Stock Route, was an annual event.	rgren2	0	1034	01:36 PM Oct 28, 2017 by rgren2
	The Duck (Preview) A Duck started to cross the road and a chicken said "Don't do it!" - you'll never hear the end of it.	Possum3	2	1543	09:20 PM Oct 27, 2017 by 67HR
	Makes me proud. (Preview) After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, British scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago. Not to be outdone by the British, in the weeks that followed, an American archa...	RustyD	1	892	09:18 PM Oct 27, 2017 by 67HR
	Jewish Sunbathers* (Preview) A widowed Jewish lady, still in good shape, was sunbathing on a totally deserted beach near Tel-Aviv. She looked up and noticed that a man her age, also in good shape, had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand near hers and began reading a book. Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation w...	67HR	1	1353	07:26 PM Oct 27, 2017 by Blues Man
	Daughters text to dad... (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	0	882	10:18 PM Oct 26, 2017 by aussie_paul
	Old Blue (Preview) OLD BLUE We pensioned off old Blue the dog when old age got him down We sent him for company to old Grandma in the town But while Granny was elated Blue still craved the great out doors and he would roam the town exploring while old granny did the chores So it was this sunday morning Blue was fossicking...	Cupie	5	1882	08:49 PM Oct 25, 2017 by grahos
	A day at the races.. (Preview) A Day At The Horse Races.... Two female teachers took a group of students from grades 1, 2 and 3 for a field trip to Flemington Racecourse. When it was time to take the children to the 'bathroom', it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.The teacher assig...	aussie_paul	1	1246	12:46 PM Oct 25, 2017 by Blues Man
	Bigger than yours.. (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	3	1210	08:25 PM Oct 23, 2017 by Woody n Sue
	Of course not! (Preview) An old couple is sitting on their couch, and the woman turns to her husband. If I died tomorrow, would you still want to get married again at your age? The husband shrugs. Well, I wouldnt want to be lonely so yes. The wife shoots him a dirty look. Would you live in our house with your new wife? Well, the house...	Possum3	0	1316	12:39 PM Oct 21, 2017 by Possum3
	Make it a double... (Preview) I lost my si. Quite literallySo today's visit to a Tesco store where Daddy (maintenance) was showing his Fire Engine to the public. A pleasant experience for all. We dropped off his lunch had a go at being the neee nooor driver and returned to the car.When I got back to my car an oversized, too old to be a...	aussie_paul	7	1467	10:53 AM Oct 21, 2017 by navynurse
	Dirty dishes (Preview) For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, Larry was concerned about the plates as it appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, Are you sure these plates are clean?Without looking up the old man said, I told you before, those dishes are as clean as cold water ca...	oldbloke	1	1330	08:24 AM Oct 21, 2017 by Blues Man
	Priest (Preview) An old priest lay dying in Woden's, Canberra Hospital. He had served the people near the nation's capital, at Manuka for many years.He motioned for the nurse to come near."Yes father?" said the nurse."I would really like to see Malcolm Turnbull and Bill Shorten before I die" whispered the priest....	oldbloke	0	1116	07:50 PM Oct 20, 2017 by oldbloke
	For the teachers.... (Preview) For the teachers.... Fred was saying his prayers as his father passed by his bedroom door."God bless Mommy, and God bless Daddy, and please make Calais the capital of France.""Fred," said his father, "why do you want Calais to be the capital of France?""Because that's what I wrote in my geography tes...	aussie_paul	1	1105	05:34 PM Oct 20, 2017 by Blues Man
	Careful. (Preview) During a funeral, the Pallbearers accidentally bump into a wall and hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the Lady inside was actually still alive. The Lady lives for another 10 years and then dies. There is another funeral for her. At the end of the service the Pallbearers are carrying...	Possum3	1	1029	05:33 PM Oct 20, 2017 by Blues Man
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