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Lions Club
(Preview)
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rockylizard
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0
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1071
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Thomas the cat.
(Preview)
This old lady had lived at the head of the bight at the bottom of Australia for many years, her only companion was Thomas her cat. Each day they would climb down the path in the cliffs to the beach & walk up and back, beach combing for anything washed up over night. This was a daily event as sometimes lo...
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Baggie
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0
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898
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Old John.
(Preview)
Old John had a farm in Queensland. The Queensland Wages Board claimed he was not paying proper wages to his workers and sent an agent out to interview him.'I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,' demanded the agent. 'Well,' replied old John, 'There's my jackaroo who's been with me for...
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aussie_paul
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4
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1449
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Why?
(Preview)
The American Govt funded a project to see why the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft. After a year and spending $180,000-00 they arrived at the hypothesis it was to give the man more pleasure during sex. After the Us published their study, the French decided to do their own investigation. Aft...
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Possum3
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2
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932
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LEXOPHILIA - WHO ON EARTH DREAMS THESE UP?
(Preview)
How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it. Venison for dinner again? Oh deer! A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes. England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool. I tried to catch some...
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RustyD
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0
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1093
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Sorry, but I need to vent !!!!
(Preview)
I experienced the WORST customer service last night at a shop near me, I don't want to mention the name of the store because I'm not in the habit of publicly trashing people or business' (Even if they DO deserve it).Thursday afternoon I bought something from this store. I paid cash for it. I took it home...
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aussie_paul
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7
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1207
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Heaven Vs Hell
(Preview)
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer you're in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and...
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Possum3
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1
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855
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Found the problem .
(Preview)
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Aus-Kiwi
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0
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1073
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Bumper Sticker.
(Preview)
Yesterday I saw a car with a bumper sticker saying, Im a vet, therefore I can drive like an animal. It was at that moment that I suddenly realised just how many gynaecologists there are on the roads.
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Possum3
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0
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865
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Kids
(Preview)
A couple's only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon Quickie with their 8-year old son in the flat, was to send him out on the balcony with a Mars Bar and tell him to report on all the street activities. Their 8-year old began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation; Theres a car being towe...
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RustyD
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0
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855
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Thought these were great.
(Preview)
A few laughs to start your day!! Murphy says to Paddy,"What ya talkin' into an envelope for?""I'm sending a voicemail ya fool!"19 Paddies go to the cinema, the ticketlady asks "Why so many of you?"Mick replies, "The film said 18 or over."I went to the cemetery yesterday to laysome flowers on a grave...
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aussie_paul
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1
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896
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Fart football
(Preview)
An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.' His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?' The old man replied, 'its fart football.' A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, 'Touchdown, tie score...'... After about five minu...
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Possum3
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0
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864
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BLONDE JOKE FOR TODAY...
(Preview)
Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks."... The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." The blondes were still arguing when the train h...
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Possum3
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0
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840
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Husband Training Course
(Preview)
Due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants each. Sign up early and get a discount on registration. 1. HOW TO FILL ICE-CUBE TRAYS. Step by step with slide presentation. 2. TOILET PAPER: DOES IT GROW ON THE HOLDERS? Roundtable discussion. 3. D...
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rockylizard
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1
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883
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Wife Training
(Preview)
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oldbloke
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4
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1734
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Old Robert...
(Preview)
Robert , 85, married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old. Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Robert should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night togetherAfter the weddin...
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aussie_paul
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1
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886
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Just like Frank...
(Preview)
A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says. 'Perfect timing. You're just like Frank.' Passenger: 'Who?' Cabbie: 'Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things...
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aussie_paul
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2
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1026
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Hold Up
(Preview)
I see a guy was held up by someone with a starting pistol. Police believe it could be race related.
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Paintar
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1
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1161
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The Next Best Thing
(Preview)
Three old men were sitting around and talking. The 80-year-old said, "The best thing that could happen to me would just to be able to have a good pee. ... I stand there for 20 minutes, and it dribbles and hurts. I have to go over and over again." The 85-year-old said, "The best thing that could happen to me i...
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Paintar
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0
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1098
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Who.
(Preview)
One day a student was taking a very difficult essay exam. At the end of the test, the prof asked all the students to put their pencils down and immediately hand in their tests. The young man kept writing furioulsy, although he was warned that if he did not stop immediately he would be disqualified. He ign...
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Possum3
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0
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1030
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