Just Joking

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

As BUDDHA was quoted: "There are three things that cannot be easily hidden,the sun, the moon, the truth."Two Truths and 5 Rules of LifeSIMPLE TRUTH 1:Lovers help each other undress before sex.However, after sex, they always dress on their own.Moral of the story -- In life, no one helps you once you'r...

Possum3 · Possum3

A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older lady and an older gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world. The agent had had a good week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a feeling of generosity. He called them int...

Possum3 · Possum3

Jeff had gone to propose to his girlfriend and returned home crying bitterly. "What happened, son?" his father asked, eagerly awaiting her response. "Did she accept?" "No, she sure didn't," sobbed Jeff. "When I told her what you advised me to say, she slapped my face and told me to get out." "Did you be...

Possum3 · Possum3

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. 'One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me,' said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down t...

STRETCH ARMSTRONG · STRETCH ARMSTRONG

WIFE: âIâve got blisters on my hands from the broomâ HUSBAND: âNext time take the car, silly!â

sandman55 · sandman55

The GuillotineA Scotsman an Englishman and Paddy the Irishman were captured by the French at the time of the French revolution and were condemned to death by guillotine the following morning. The next morning the Scotsman was brought out first and was asked if he wanted to wear a blindfold and he re...

fwdoz · fwdoz

Merv was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off both of his ears. Since he was permanently disfigured, he settled with the company for a rather large sum of money and went on his way.One day, Merv decided to invest his money in a small, but growing telecom business call...

fwdoz · fwdoz

The local zoo had acquired a female of a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the gorilla became very cantankerous and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem - the gorilla was on heat! To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of the sp...

fwdoz · fwdoz

Once there was a man who had just bought himself a brand new gun. Because of this, he decided to practice at a shooting range. There was one problem though - the range required a membership and the membership cost too much money for the man.So the man asked "I need to practice using this thing. What am I sup...

fwdoz · fwdoz

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemal...

fwdoz · fwdoz

My neighbour went to the doctor complaining of a very difficult time achieving an orgasm. The doctor asked her "Which position do you use?" "Doggy-style" she replied. "Why don't you go home and, tonight, try it missionary position and see if that works any better" said the doctor. "We've tried that"...

fwdoz · fwdoz

Phil and Jill had been married for many years but now were in divorce court. Following a barrage of questions by both attorneys, questions came from a new source. The Judge asked "Phil, is it true that over the last three years of your marriage, you did not speak to Jill?" Phil replies "Yes, Judge, that i...

fwdoz · fwdoz

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?" The first man a...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Pastor, my dog is dead. Could there be a service for the poor creature?Pastor replied,No, we cannot have service for an animal in the church. But there is a new church down the road. Maybe they will do something for the animal.The man answeredPastor, but do you think they will accept a donation of $250,...

Possum3 · Possum3

A nervous little man walked into a grocery store in a small town. I want to buy all your over-ripe vegetables and stale eggs, he said. Well, said the shopkeeper with a twinkle in his eyes, You must be going to see the new comedian at the theatre tonight. Not so loud, said the little man, looking around hesi...

rgren2 · rgren2

A woman hears a knock on the door and when she opens the door a man asks this.Man: Do you have a vagina?Woman slams the door in disgustThe next morning she hears a knock again and answers the door. The man asks the same question Man: do you have a vagina?She slams the door again.Later that night when her hus...

Paintar · Paintar

For his birthday, little Joseph asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, 'Son, we'd give you one,but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 and your Mothers just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it.' The next day the father saw little Joseph heading out the front door wi...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A solider stationed in the South Pacific wrote to his wife in the States to please send him a harmonica to occupy his free time and keep his mind off of the local women. The wife complied and sent the best one she could find, along with several dozen lesson and music books.Rotated back home, he rushed to th...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	As BUDDHA was quoted: (Preview) As BUDDHA was quoted: "There are three things that cannot be easily hidden,the sun, the moon, the truth."Two Truths and 5 Rules of LifeSIMPLE TRUTH 1:Lovers help each other undress before sex.However, after sex, they always dress on their own.Moral of the story -- In life, no one helps you once you'r...	aussie_paul	1	1170	02:54 PM Apr 17, 2018 by STRETCH ARMSTRONG
	Who? (Preview) A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older lady and an older gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world. The agent had had a good week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a feeling of generosity. He called them int...	Possum3	1	1106	11:22 PM Apr 16, 2018 by Leo
	Proposal (Preview) Jeff had gone to propose to his girlfriend and returned home crying bitterly. "What happened, son?" his father asked, eagerly awaiting her response. "Did she accept?" "No, she sure didn't," sobbed Jeff. "When I told her what you advised me to say, she slapped my face and told me to get out." "Did you be...	Possum3	0	1092	10:56 AM Apr 16, 2018 by Possum3
	Pecans in the cemetery... (Preview) On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. 'One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me,' said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down t...	Possum3	0	969	10:47 AM Apr 16, 2018 by Possum3
	And that's when the fight started! (Preview) WIFE: âIâve got blisters on my hands from the broomâ HUSBAND: âNext time take the car, silly!â	STRETCH ARMSTRONG	0	909	01:57 PM Apr 15, 2018 by STRETCH ARMSTRONG
	The Guillotine (Preview) The GuillotineA Scotsman an Englishman and Paddy the Irishman were captured by the French at the time of the French revolution and were condemned to death by guillotine the following morning. The next morning the Scotsman was brought out first and was asked if he wanted to wear a blindfold and he re...	sandman55	1	1031	01:26 AM Apr 15, 2018 by Blues Man
	Ears (Preview) Merv was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off both of his ears. Since he was permanently disfigured, he settled with the company for a rather large sum of money and went on his way.One day, Merv decided to invest his money in a small, but growing telecom business call...	fwdoz	2	1014	11:20 PM Apr 14, 2018 by sandman55
	The Gorilla (Preview) The local zoo had acquired a female of a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the gorilla became very cantankerous and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem - the gorilla was on heat! To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of the sp...	fwdoz	1	1126	08:20 AM Apr 14, 2018 by Blues Man
	Shooting Cans (Preview) Once there was a man who had just bought himself a brand new gun. Because of this, he decided to practice at a shooting range. There was one problem though - the range required a membership and the membership cost too much money for the man.So the man asked "I need to practice using this thing. What am I sup...	fwdoz	1	1023	08:15 AM Apr 14, 2018 by Blues Man
	Fine Restaurant (Preview) An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemal...	fwdoz	0	1102	04:57 PM Apr 13, 2018 by fwdoz
	Doggy Style (Preview) My neighbour went to the doctor complaining of a very difficult time achieving an orgasm. The doctor asked her "Which position do you use?" "Doggy-style" she replied. "Why don't you go home and, tonight, try it missionary position and see if that works any better" said the doctor. "We've tried that"...	fwdoz	0	932	04:51 PM Apr 13, 2018 by fwdoz
	Divorce Court (Preview) Phil and Jill had been married for many years but now were in divorce court. Following a barrage of questions by both attorneys, questions came from a new source. The Judge asked "Phil, is it true that over the last three years of your marriage, you did not speak to Jill?" Phil replies "Yes, Judge, that i...	fwdoz	0	1007	04:50 PM Apr 13, 2018 by fwdoz
	The cemetery (Preview) A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?" The first man a...	fwdoz	0	849	04:48 PM Apr 13, 2018 by fwdoz
	My dog is dead.... (Preview) Pastor, my dog is dead. Could there be a service for the poor creature?Pastor replied,No, we cannot have service for an animal in the church. But there is a new church down the road. Maybe they will do something for the animal.The man answeredPastor, but do you think they will accept a donation of $250,...	aussie_paul	2	1212	11:39 AM Apr 13, 2018 by Leo
	New comedian. (Preview) A nervous little man walked into a grocery store in a small town. I want to buy all your over-ripe vegetables and stale eggs, he said. Well, said the shopkeeper with a twinkle in his eyes, You must be going to see the new comedian at the theatre tonight. Not so loud, said the little man, looking around hesi...	Possum3	0	1136	11:38 AM Apr 12, 2018 by Possum3
	Do you have a ? (Preview) A woman hears a knock on the door and when she opens the door a man asks this.Man: Do you have a vagina?Woman slams the door in disgustThe next morning she hears a knock again and answers the door. The man asks the same question Man: do you have a vagina?She slams the door again.Later that night when her hus...	rgren2	1	1096	04:56 PM Apr 11, 2018 by Blues Man
	10-speed bicycle (Preview) For his birthday, little Joseph asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, 'Son, we'd give you one,but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 and your Mothers just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it.' The next day the father saw little Joseph heading out the front door wi...	Paintar	4	954	08:02 AM Apr 11, 2018 by Blues Man
	Friendship... (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	1	934	07:59 AM Apr 11, 2018 by Blues Man
	A happy dairy farmer (Preview)	Woody n Sue	1	957	07:57 AM Apr 11, 2018 by Blues Man
	Harmonica... (Preview) A solider stationed in the South Pacific wrote to his wife in the States to please send him a harmonica to occupy his free time and keep his mind off of the local women. The wife complied and sent the best one she could find, along with several dozen lesson and music books.Rotated back home, he rushed to th...	aussie_paul	1	954	07:56 AM Apr 11, 2018 by Blues Man
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