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SENIOR DRIVING
(Preview)
As a senior citizen was driving down the motorway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Vernon, Ijust heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way onI-25. Please be careful!" "Hell," said Vernon, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"...
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aussie_paul
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0
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981
|
|
|
|
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OLD FRIENDS
(Preview)
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years,they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, theiractivities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to playcards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other andsaid, "Now don't get mad...
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aussie_paul
|
0
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1133
|
|
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|
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Good job
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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0
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1339
|
|
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An accountant
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
|
0
|
754
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|
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The Irish
(Preview)
A very pretty young speech therapist was getting absolutely nowhere with her Stammerer's Action Group. She had tried every technique in the book, but still they stammered and stuttered. Finally, totally exasperated, she said; "If any of you can tell me where you were born, without stuttering, I w...
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67HR
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5
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1669
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Ventriloquist
(Preview)
A young ventriloquist is touring Sweden and, one night, he's doing a show ina small fishing town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going throughhis customary dumb-blonde jokes.Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and startsshouting, "I've heard enough of your stupid b...
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reglynn
|
1
|
810
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|
|
|
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Johno strikes again
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
|
1
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1184
|
|
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|
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APHORISM:"A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE THAT EXPRESSES A WISE OR CLEVER OBSERVATION OR A GENERAL TRUTH"
(Preview)
NOT REALLY "JUST JOKING' Most of them are too close to home 1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow. 2. Money will buy a fine dog but only kindness will make him wag his tail. 3. If you don't have a sense of humour you probably don't have any sense at all. 4. Seat belts are n...
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67HR
|
2
|
6141
|
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The Devil
(Preview)
A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home. When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork. "Who are you?" he asked...
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fwdoz
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1
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1114
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|
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Catholic School
(Preview)
A father who is very much concerned about his son's bad grades in math decides to register him at a catholic school. After his first term there, the son brings home his report card: He's getting "A's in math. The father is, of course, pleased, but wants to know "Why are your math grades suddenly so good?"...
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fwdoz
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1
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1616
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God
(Preview)
Why did god create man before he created woman? Because he didn't want any advice on how to do it.
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fwdoz
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0
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911
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Where are you from
(Preview)
A hillbilly went hunting one day in West Virginia and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home where he was confronted by an ornery game warden who didnt like hillbillies.The game warden ordered to the hillbilly to show his hunting license, and the hillbi...
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Woody n Sue
|
1
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1209
|
|
|
|
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SILLY OLD COW
(Preview)
Thought you might enjoy this, which a mate of mine just posted on a local Birmingham Facebook page: A true tale from years ago, told to me by a mate who was there. My friend Mick was standing outside the cinema early one evening, and traffic was pretty heavy in all directions. He noticed a car waiting at t...
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Des and Jane
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1
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1356
|
|
|
|
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Queensland Logic.
(Preview)
Queensland LOGIC.. >> Two Mundubbera Graziers, James and Doug, are sitting at their favourite bar, >> drinking beer. >> >> James turns to Doug and says, "You know, I'm tired of going >> through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the >>...
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hako
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1
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1412
|
|
|
|
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Bra size ......T cup
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
|
0
|
989
|
|
|
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Bus Driver
(Preview)
A Priest dies and goes to heaven. As he's approaching the gates, he hears a band of singing and dancing angels approach, and begins to get excited. The lead angel approaches the Priest and asks if he would mind stepping aside for a moment. Surprised, the Priest does as he's asked. The angels march out of...
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fwdoz
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2
|
939
|
|
|
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Dinner Party
(Preview)
A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for some important guests. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realised that she didn't have any snails for the dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucke...
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fwdoz
|
0
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954
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|
|
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The cynical philospher
(Preview)
I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year; not to cause any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number? Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. N...
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67HR
|
2
|
996
|
|
|
|
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Are you smart or brilliant
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
|
1
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1281
|
|
|
|
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It’s just a flash in the pan
(Preview)
|
Woody n Sue
|
3
|
1129
|
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