|
The Parrot
(Preview)
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's' mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft...
|
Dave1952
|
0
|
601
|
|
|
|
|
Show & Tell
(Preview)
The teacher asked the students to bring one electrical appliance for "Show and Tell" and the next day every kid had something.The teacher asks Wendy "What did you bring?" "I brought a Walkman". "And what is it for?" "You can listen to music with it!" "That's nice Wendy"."What did you bring Kenny?" "I b...
|
fwdoz
|
0
|
646
|
|
|
|
|
Two drunks
(Preview)
Two drunks are in a tavern sitting at the bar, staring into their drinks. One gets a curious look on his face and asks "Hey, John, you ever seen an ice cube with a hole in it before?" "Yep. I been married to one for fifteen years!"
|
fwdoz
|
0
|
592
|
|
|
|
|
60y.o. millionaire
(Preview)
A 60-year-old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception. His friends are quite jealous and in a quiet moment one of them asks him how he landed such a hot 23-year-old beauty. "Simple" grins the millionaire "I faked my age". His friends are really amazed and ask him how much he sa...
|
fwdoz
|
0
|
623
|
|
|
|
|
Guardian Angel
(Preview)
A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you". The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the vo...
|
fwdoz
|
0
|
531
|
|
|
|
|
Blonde again.
(Preview)
A blonde teacher was going on a school trip with her third graders. After she and the class had been waiting on the station for almost three hours, it became too much for her. She walked up to the staff and said: I dont care what you say anymore, were getting on the next train even if it only has first and seco...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
579
|
|
|
|
|
Double up.
(Preview)
I ended up with an older woman at a club last night - she looked OK for a 57year old. We drank a bit and she stated to get real friendly, she asked if I had ever had a "Sportsman Double". "What's that?" I asked. "It's a mother and Daughter threesome" she replied. We drank a bit more, then she replied that ton...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
626
|
|
|
|
|
Oldie but a goodie..
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
726
|
|
|
|
|
Windy
(Preview)
An older lady was standing at the railings of a cruise ship, admiring the view. But the wind was strong and she had to hold on to her hat so that it would not blow off in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me, Madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
704
|
|
|
|
|
Insuring a tent.
(Preview)
Insurance company's are reminding campers that if their tent is stolen in the night they are not Covered.
|
Steve794
|
0
|
638
|
|
|
|
|
The Night Nurse
(Preview)
A very tired nurse walks into a bank, worn out after a tough shift. Preparing to write a cheque, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it. When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller, and without missing a beat, she says: "Well, that's grea...
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
832
|
|
|
|
|
Making Sense.
(Preview)
A Tennessee couple Dave and Edwina Kosmitus, both Bona Fide rednecks, had nine children. They went to see their Doctor to get Dave "Fixed". The Doctor asked them why had the come to the conclusion that they didn't want any more children. Dave said that they had read a recent article in the newspaper tha...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
843
|
|
|
|
|
Risky???
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
1
|
800
|
|
|
|
|
Paddy & Mary
(Preview)
Paddy & Mary have been married for a long time & Mary decides their love life needs spicing up. She suggests to Paddy that they try a 69. Paddy agrees & Mary gets him to lay on the floor while she sits on his face. But just as she does, she farts. Mary apologises & tries again, but farts yet a...
|
fwdoz
|
1
|
811
|
|
|
|
|
lol...
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
2
|
1107
|
|
|
|
|
The Aussie BBQ routine....
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
781
|
|
|
|
|
Why?
(Preview)
He turned to her, ran his hand up her thigh, across her belly and down her legs. When he turned back to watch the television, She asked "Why stop"? "Found the remote"! He replied.
|
Possum3
|
3
|
875
|
|
|
|
|
Swearing...
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
1
|
1037
|
|
|
|
|
Privacy..
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
1
|
893
|
|
|
|
|
Low mileage
(Preview)
A blonde wanted to sell her car but she couldnt find any buyers. She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked how many kilometres she had on her car. She answered, 300,000. Her fried told her that was the problem. So the blonde went to the mechanic and told him to put it down to 70,000 kms. A couple...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
995
|
|
|
