Just Joking

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Robert , 85, married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old. Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Robert should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night togetherAfter the weddin...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says. 'Perfect timing. You're just like Frank.' Passenger: 'Who?' Cabbie: 'Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things...

Paintar · Paintar

I see a guy was held up by someone with a starting pistol. Police believe it could be race related.

Paintar · Paintar

Three old men were sitting around and talking. The 80-year-old said, "The best thing that could happen to me would just to be able to have a good pee. ... I stand there for 20 minutes, and it dribbles and hurts. I have to go over and over again." The 85-year-old said, "The best thing that could happen to me i...

Possum3 · Possum3

One day a student was taking a very difficult essay exam. At the end of the test, the prof asked all the students to put their pencils down and immediately hand in their tests. The young man kept writing furioulsy, although he was warned that if he did not stop immediately he would be disqualified. He ign...

Possum3 · Possum3

There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldnt swim. When a boat came by, the captain yelled, Do you need help, sir? The preacher calmly said No, God will save me. A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, Hey, do you need help? The preacher replied again, No God will save me. Eve...

Paintar · Paintar

Bob called home one afternoon to see what his wife was making for dinner. "Hello?" said the maid. "Hi, it's me," said Bob. "Is madam near the phone?"... "No, Sir. She's upstairs in the bedroom with your friend Frank." After a brief pause, Bob said, "But I don't have a friend named Frank!" "Yes you do. He'...

Possum3 · Possum3

Whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot. 2 What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old? Aye matey I bought the worlds worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, its terrible. Rndomguytf 4 This is my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder. WikiWantsYourPics 5 My friend asked me...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

An old Marine Pilot sat down at the Starbucks, still wearing his old USMC flight jacket and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the pilot and asked,Are you a real pilot? He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying planes, first Ste...

Possum3 · Possum3

A former Sergeant in the Marine Corps took a new job as a high school teacher. Just before the school year started, he injured his back. He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable. On the first day of class, he fo...

Possum3 · Possum3

A murderer, imprisoned for life, broke free after 15 years and was on the run. He broke into a house and tied up the young couple he found in the bedroom; the man to a chair on one side of the room and his wife to the bed. The helpless husband watched him get on the bed, straddle his wife and start to nuzzle her n...

Possum3 · Possum3

Honey, Im so sorry that I let out my anger at you so often, the wife said. How do you manage to stay so calm with my foul moods? Well, said the husband, looking up from his newspaper, I always go and clean the toilet when that happens. And that helps? she asked, surprised. Yes, he said. Because Im using you...

Phillipn · Phillipn

Possum3 · Possum3

On the first night of their honeymoon, a husband isnt sure how to tell his new wife about his smelly feet and stinky socks. Meanwhile, the wife is wondering how to break the news about her awful breath, which shes so far managed to hide. After some soul-searching and confidence building, the husband fi...

Phillipn · Phillipn

A professor at Wayne State University in Detriot was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies. To get a feel for his audience, he asks, "How many peole here belive in ghosts?" About 90 stidents raise their hands. "Well, that`s a good start. Out of those who beleve in ghosts, do any of you think you have see...

Possum3 · Possum3

A policeman is on scene at a terrible accident - body parts everywhere. He is making his notes of where the pieces are and comes across a head. He writes in his notebook: "Head on bullevard" and scratchs out his spelling error. "Head on bouelevard" Nope, doesn't look right - scratch scratch. "Head on bo...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Husband takes the wife to her high school reunion.After meeting several of her friends and former school mates, they are sitting at a table where he is yawning and overly bored.The band cranks up and people are beginning to dance.There's a guy on the dance floor living it large, break dancing, moon w...

bill12 · bill12

When its hot and humid in NQ, where I live I get religious... I worship the 4 As...I didn.t know you were religious, Bill, they say....When asked what the 4 As are I say Alcohol, Armchairs, Austar, and Airconditioning.......I also go down to sth NSW for the summer. -- Edited by bill12 on Friday 5th of Jan...

Phillipn · Phillipn

Condoms don`t guarantee safe sex anymore. A bloke was wearing one when he was shot by the woman`s husbane.

Aus-Kiwi · Aus-Kiwi

-- Edited by Aus-Kiwi on Tuesday 2nd of January 2018 09:55:37 PM

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Old Robert... (Preview) Robert , 85, married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old. Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Robert should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night togetherAfter the weddin...	aussie_paul	1	803	12:32 PM Jan 13, 2018 by Blues Man
	Just like Frank... (Preview) A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says. 'Perfect timing. You're just like Frank.' Passenger: 'Who?' Cabbie: 'Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things...	aussie_paul	2	945	08:14 AM Jan 11, 2018 by Blues Man
	Hold Up (Preview) I see a guy was held up by someone with a starting pistol. Police believe it could be race related.	Paintar	1	1074	08:10 AM Jan 11, 2018 by Blues Man
	The Next Best Thing (Preview) Three old men were sitting around and talking. The 80-year-old said, "The best thing that could happen to me would just to be able to have a good pee. ... I stand there for 20 minutes, and it dribbles and hurts. I have to go over and over again." The 85-year-old said, "The best thing that could happen to me i...	Paintar	0	1000	08:23 AM Jan 9, 2018 by Paintar
	Who. (Preview) One day a student was taking a very difficult essay exam. At the end of the test, the prof asked all the students to put their pencils down and immediately hand in their tests. The young man kept writing furioulsy, although he was warned that if he did not stop immediately he would be disqualified. He ign...	Possum3	0	951	07:37 PM Jan 8, 2018 by Possum3
	The Preacher (Preview) There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldnt swim. When a boat came by, the captain yelled, Do you need help, sir? The preacher calmly said No, God will save me. A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, Hey, do you need help? The preacher replied again, No God will save me. Eve...	Possum3	0	804	07:35 PM Jan 8, 2018 by Possum3
	What for dinner (Preview) Bob called home one afternoon to see what his wife was making for dinner. "Hello?" said the maid. "Hi, it's me," said Bob. "Is madam near the phone?"... "No, Sir. She's upstairs in the bedroom with your friend Frank." After a brief pause, Bob said, "But I don't have a friend named Frank!" "Yes you do. He'...	Paintar	0	907	06:32 PM Jan 7, 2018 by Paintar
	50 from Faceboook (Preview) Whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot. 2 What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old? Aye matey I bought the worlds worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, its terrible. Rndomguytf 4 This is my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder. WikiWantsYourPics 5 My friend asked me...	Possum3	2	1032	04:07 PM Jan 7, 2018 by Possum3
	"Are you a real pilot?" (Preview) An old Marine Pilot sat down at the Starbucks, still wearing his old USMC flight jacket and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the pilot and asked,Are you a real pilot? He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying planes, first Ste...	aussie_paul	1	975	10:12 AM Jan 7, 2018 by Blues Man
	Tough ex Marine schoolteacher (Preview) A former Sergeant in the Marine Corps took a new job as a high school teacher. Just before the school year started, he injured his back. He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable. On the first day of class, he fo...	Possum3	7	1250	10:11 AM Jan 7, 2018 by Blues Man
	Escapee (Preview) A murderer, imprisoned for life, broke free after 15 years and was on the run. He broke into a house and tied up the young couple he found in the bedroom; the man to a chair on one side of the room and his wife to the bed. The helpless husband watched him get on the bed, straddle his wife and start to nuzzle her n...	Possum3	1	1057	10:06 AM Jan 7, 2018 by Blues Man
	Always calm (Preview) Honey, Im so sorry that I let out my anger at you so often, the wife said. How do you manage to stay so calm with my foul moods? Well, said the husband, looking up from his newspaper, I always go and clean the toilet when that happens. And that helps? she asked, surprised. Yes, he said. Because Im using you...	Possum3	1	979	10:05 AM Jan 7, 2018 by Blues Man
	Tattoo (Preview)	Phillipn	4	1252	10:03 AM Jan 7, 2018 by Blues Man
	Honeymoon (Preview) On the first night of their honeymoon, a husband isnt sure how to tell his new wife about his smelly feet and stinky socks. Meanwhile, the wife is wondering how to break the news about her awful breath, which shes so far managed to hide. After some soul-searching and confidence building, the husband fi...	Possum3	1	1110	10:02 AM Jan 7, 2018 by Blues Man
	Sex with Ghosts (Preview) A professor at Wayne State University in Detriot was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies. To get a feel for his audience, he asks, "How many peole here belive in ghosts?" About 90 stidents raise their hands. "Well, that`s a good start. Out of those who beleve in ghosts, do any of you think you have see...	Phillipn	1	974	10:00 AM Jan 7, 2018 by Blues Man
	Where? (Preview) A policeman is on scene at a terrible accident - body parts everywhere. He is making his notes of where the pieces are and comes across a head. He writes in his notebook: "Head on bullevard" and scratchs out his spelling error. "Head on bouelevard" Nope, doesn't look right - scratch scratch. "Head on bo...	Possum3	1	952	09:57 AM Jan 7, 2018 by Blues Man
	High School reunion. (Preview) Husband takes the wife to her high school reunion.After meeting several of her friends and former school mates, they are sitting at a table where he is yawning and overly bored.The band cranks up and people are beginning to dance.There's a guy on the dance floor living it large, break dancing, moon w...	aussie_paul	1	1088	09:51 AM Jan 7, 2018 by Blues Man
	WHEN ITS HOT AND HUMID IN NQ..... (Preview) When its hot and humid in NQ, where I live I get religious... I worship the 4 As...I didn.t know you were religious, Bill, they say....When asked what the 4 As are I say Alcohol, Armchairs, Austar, and Airconditioning.......I also go down to sth NSW for the summer. -- Edited by bill12 on Friday 5th of Jan...	bill12	0	863	01:08 PM Jan 5, 2018 by bill12
	Safe Sex (Preview) Condoms don`t guarantee safe sex anymore. A bloke was wearing one when he was shot by the woman`s husbane.	Phillipn	0	1076	07:02 AM Jan 5, 2018 by Phillipn
	The view ? Lol Reminds me of someone on here ? (Preview) -- Edited by Aus-Kiwi on Tuesday 2nd of January 2018 09:55:37 PM	Aus-Kiwi	2	1183	10:31 PM Jan 4, 2018 by RustyD
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