|
Nursing Home
(Preview)
A son was placing his father into a nursing home. Please don't put me in there son! cried the old man. The son said, Pop, I can't take care of you and work too. I've checked the place out and it is the best one there is. I think you'll love it The next day the father called his son and said, Son, you were right!...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
883
|
|
|
|
|
On the farm
(Preview)
Farmer Christopher was in pub drinking beer and looking all depressed. His friend Ferdinand asked him why he was looking depressed. Christopher answered; Some things you just cant explain. This morning I was in barn and milking the cow. As soon as the pail was full the cow kicked it down with his right...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
919
|
|
|
|
|
Think about it......
(Preview)
Gday... Two parrots were sitting on a perch. One says to the other, "Can you smell fish?"
|
rockylizard
|
4
|
938
|
|
|
|
|
One more beer
(Preview)
A Praying Mantis was drinking at a bar with his mates. It was already two hours after he told his wife he would be home. He said "I might just have one more beer çoz when I get home she's just gunna bite my head off anyway".
|
Possum3
|
0
|
762
|
|
|
|
|
Don't ask.
(Preview)
Curious about the world, little Peter asks his mother her age. She replies, Real gentleman never ask a lady that question. Unsatisfied, little Peter than asks his mother how much she weighs. Again, she replies, Real gentleman never ask a lady that question. He then asks her why his father left her. Yo...
|
Possum3
|
2
|
865
|
|
|
|
|
AN AVID GOLFER....
(Preview)
An avid golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him."I have some good news and some bad news," says the surgeon. "The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!""Oh God no!" cries the man. "My golfing is over...
|
aussie_paul
|
1
|
938
|
|
|
|
|
Beggar me.
(Preview)
Bruce and Trevor are beggars. They beg in different areas of Bondi.Bruce begs just as long as Trevor but only collects two to three dollars every day.Trevor brings home a suitcase full of ten-dollar notes, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend.Bruce says to T...
|
rgren2
|
1
|
899
|
|
|
|
|
It took 50 years BUT she has been found...
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
1
|
1022
|
|
|
|
|
A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla...
(Preview)
A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very ornery, and difficult to handle.Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of that species av...
|
aussie_paul
|
1
|
823
|
|
|
|
|
Testing
(Preview)
An old man was wondering if his wife had a hearing problem and decided to put her to the test. One evening, he crept up on her while she was knitting in her favourite chair and whispered, Honey, can you hear me? After no response, he moved closer and said a little louder, Honey, can you hear me? Finally, he...
|
Possum3
|
2
|
936
|
|
|
|
|
A man walks into a Bar....
(Preview)
A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender: Hey, if I show you something cool, can I get a free beer? The bartender scowls, and replies: It had better be really cool. The man takes a Ken doll-like figure out of his bag, and puts it on the bar before the bartender can protest, before also pulling out a tin...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
896
|
|
|
|
|
Some Irish Humour...
(Preview)
An Irishman's first drink with his son...While reading an article last night about fathers and sons, memories came flooding back to the time I took me son out for his first pint.Off we went to our local pub only two blocks from the cottage.I got him a Guinness. He didn't like it, so I drank it.Then I got h...
|
aussie_paul
|
1
|
949
|
|
|
|
|
Bad Habit.
(Preview)
I wish that my Robert would stop biting his nails, it gets me very upset, one lady said. My Calvin used to do the same thing, the other woman said. But I broke him of the habit. How? The first women asked. I hid his teeth.
|
Possum3
|
0
|
837
|
|
|
|
|
Who Wore It Better
(Preview)
-- Edited by RustyD on Friday 2nd of February 2018 10:55:58 AM
|
RustyD
|
1
|
758
|
|
|
|
|
Some Pics
(Preview)
|
RustyD
|
1
|
804
|
|
|
|
|
I like to bet.
(Preview)
A little old lady went into the headquarters of the Bank of America, one day, carrying a large bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, Its a lot of money! The receptionist objected, stating, You cant just walk in here and expect to s...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
735
|
|
|
|
|
Magic Frog.
(Preview)
One day, a boy was walking down a road when a frog called to him, Boy, if you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess. The boy picked up the frog, smiled at it, then placed the frog into his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog said, Boy, if you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, and I wil...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
800
|
|
|
|
|
DON'T YOU EVER STOP?
(Preview)
An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution for a client who was due to be hanged for murder at midnight. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed. As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife...
|
Paintar
|
2
|
849
|
|
|
|
|
Modern Aesop's Fable
(Preview)
A horse and a chicken were walking down a country road and they saw that there was some corn just across the ditch by the road. The horse walked over to eat the corn. Before he got to the corn he became stuck in the mud. For all his trying he could not get out of the mud. So he tells the chicken, Hey, go over to...
|
Possum3
|
2
|
805
|
|
|
|
|
Cold shower!
(Preview)
Not a joke, a true story, but made me laugh lots....... until! 3am, second nite in our new (to us) van with ensuite. Darling wife goes for a wee. I hear a hell of a scream, a few expletives, then silence. Wife gets back in to bed, hair dripping wet. "What the bloody hell happened?" I ask. "I dumped the stupi...
|
Dave Jezza
|
1
|
939
|
|
|
