|
The wife won't take kindly to this
(Preview)
The wife won't take kindly to thisIt all began with an iPhone March was when our son celebrated his 17th birthday, and we got him an iPhone. He just loved it. Who wouldnt?I celebrated my birthday in July, and my wife made me very happy when she bought me an iPad.Our daughters birthday was in August so we g...
|
Dave1952
|
0
|
838
|
|
|
|
|
A few more gags
(Preview)
Finding your lost luggage at the airport should be easy. However, that's not the case. My Grandad recently had to start using Viagra. Grandma took it pretty hard. My son asked: "Dad, are we pyromaniacs?" Yes, we arson. Just found out my mate has been shot with a starting pistol. Police think it's race-...
|
fwdoz
|
1
|
786
|
|
|
|
|
Dumb Kid.
(Preview)
A boy goes to the corner store. On seeing him enter, the cashier whispers to the customer hes serving: This is the dumbest kid in the world. Just watch this. The cashier pulls out a single dollar coin and places it in one hand then holds a five dollar note in his other hand. Which do you want? the cashier as...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
771
|
|
|
|
|
An Adult FAIRY TALE.....
(Preview)
Once upon a time there lived a King who had the most beautiful daughter. But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt. No matter what: Metal Wood Stone Anything she touched would melt. Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her. The King despaired. Wha...
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
1018
|
|
|
|
|
The Nursing
(Preview)
The Nursing Three mischievous old Grandmas were sitting on a bench outside the nursing home when an old Great Grandpa,Will Johnston, walked by.One of the old Grandmas yelled out, 'Hey, we bet we can tell exactly how old you are!' Will said, 'There is no way you can guess my age! One of the Grandmas said...
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
729
|
|
|
|
|
The States...
(Preview)
Queensland The owner of a golf course on the Gold Coast was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, You graduated from the University of Queensland and I need some help. If I was to give you $20,000, minus...
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
693
|
|
|
|
|
Confucius
(Preview)
Confucius say squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts. Confucius say fortune you seek is in another cookie Confucius say there is one thing that all smart asses have in common wise cracks Confucius say man who lay girl on hillside is not on the level. Confucius say crossing dinosaur with a pig, wi...
|
fwdoz
|
3
|
841
|
|
|
|
|
Star Wars jokes
(Preview)
Q: Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road? A: To get to the Dark Side. Q: Which website did Chewbacca get arrested for creating? A: Wookieleaks Q: Which program do Jedi use to open PDF files? A: Adobe Wan Kenobi
|
fwdoz
|
0
|
808
|
|
|
|
|
Married for the 4th time
(Preview)
The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time.The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation. "He's a funeral director" she answ...
|
fwdoz
|
0
|
723
|
|
|
|
|
Dracula
(Preview)
A long interview just appeared featuring Dracula's lifestyle in the Daily Mail. And yet, he didn't appear in The Mirror OR The Sun.
|
fwdoz
|
0
|
661
|
|
|
|
|
lol...
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
826
|
|
|
|
|
The Ranchhand
(Preview)
A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranchhand. Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. ...
|
Paintar
|
2
|
819
|
|
|
|
|
Doctor
(Preview)
Doctor says to patient after surgery: Ive got some good news and some bad news. patient says give me the bad news first well, says the doc, we had to amputate both your legs but the good news is that the guy in the next bed wants to buy your slippers! -- Edited by Cyclops on Wednesday 8th of August 2018 07:20:...
|
Cyclops
|
0
|
797
|
|
|
|
|
Doctor
(Preview)
Doctor says to patient; well The tests are back and I have good news and bad news. The guy says ok doc give me the bad news first. Doc says Im sorry but you only have 1 week to live. The bloke is devestated and takes a few minutes to compose himself. Well what is the good news? The doc replies my secretary has...
|
Cyclops
|
0
|
639
|
|
|
|
|
Never be seen...
(Preview)
Never be seen arguing with a fool...... Onlookers can't always tell the difference!
|
reikioz
|
1
|
584
|
|
|
|
|
Spice it up.
(Preview)
A husband is frustrated by the lack of intimacy with his wife and comes up with a plan to spice up their sex life. Darling, shall we try a new position tonight? he asks. The wife pauses for a moment and thinks about her response. Sure, she replies. Shocked, the husband isnt quite sure what to do, before the...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
758
|
|
|
|
|
Genie in a lamp
(Preview)
A woman is walking along the beach when she stumbles across a Genie's lamp partially buried in the sand. She picks it up and rubs it. Within seconds a Genie appears before her and tells her he can grant her one true desire. Without hesitating, the woman says: "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map?...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
699
|
|
|
|
|
Indigenous tracker.... oldie but still a goodie.
(Preview)
An Australian tour guide was showing a group ofAmerican tourists the Top End.On their way to Kakadu he was describing the amazing abilities of the Australian Aborigines to track man or beast over land, through the air and under the sea.The Americans were incredulous.Later in the day, as the grou...
|
aussie_paul
|
1
|
768
|
|
|
|
|
Oops....
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
3
|
735
|
|
|
|
|
Snowstorm.
(Preview)
A blonde is driving and becomes lost in a freak snowstorm. She doesn't panic though and simply remembers what her dad once told her: "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plough to come by and follow it." Sure enough, a snow plough soon passed and she began to follow it. She followed th...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
693
|
|
|
