|
A trip to Flemington
(Preview)
Two female teachers took a group of students from grades 1, 2 and 3 for a field trip to Flemington Racecourse. When it was time to take the children to the toilet it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside...
|
fwdoz
|
2
|
579
|
|
|
|
Two drunks
(Preview)
Two drunks are in a tavern sitting at the bar, staring into their drinks. One gets a curious look on his face and asks "Hey, John, you ever seen an ice cube with a hole in it before?" "Yep. I been married to one for fifteen years!"
|
fwdoz
|
0
|
425
|
|
|
|
60y.o. millionaire
(Preview)
A 60-year-old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception. His friends are quite jealous and in a quiet moment one of them asks him how he landed such a hot 23-year-old beauty. "Simple" grins the millionaire "I faked my age". His friends are really amazed and ask him how much he sa...
|
fwdoz
|
0
|
480
|
|
|
|
Guardian Angel
(Preview)
A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you". The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the vo...
|
fwdoz
|
0
|
379
|
|
|
|
Blonde again.
(Preview)
A blonde teacher was going on a school trip with her third graders. After she and the class had been waiting on the station for almost three hours, it became too much for her. She walked up to the staff and said: I dont care what you say anymore, were getting on the next train even if it only has first and seco...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
465
|
|
|
|
Double up.
(Preview)
I ended up with an older woman at a club last night - she looked OK for a 57year old. We drank a bit and she stated to get real friendly, she asked if I had ever had a "Sportsman Double". "What's that?" I asked. "It's a mother and Daughter threesome" she replied. We drank a bit more, then she replied that ton...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
512
|
|
|
|
Oldie but a goodie..
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
576
|
|
|
|
Windy
(Preview)
An older lady was standing at the railings of a cruise ship, admiring the view. But the wind was strong and she had to hold on to her hat so that it would not blow off in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me, Madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
558
|
|
|
|
Insuring a tent.
(Preview)
Insurance company's are reminding campers that if their tent is stolen in the night they are not Covered.
|
Steve794
|
0
|
502
|
|
|
|
The Night Nurse
(Preview)
A very tired nurse walks into a bank, worn out after a tough shift. Preparing to write a cheque, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it. When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller, and without missing a beat, she says: "Well, that's grea...
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
688
|
|
|
|
Paddy & Mary
(Preview)
Paddy & Mary have been married for a long time & Mary decides their love life needs spicing up. She suggests to Paddy that they try a 69. Paddy agrees & Mary gets him to lay on the floor while she sits on his face. But just as she does, she farts. Mary apologises & tries again, but farts yet a...
|
fwdoz
|
1
|
636
|
|
|
|
Risky???
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
1
|
644
|
|
|
|
Making Sense.
(Preview)
A Tennessee couple Dave and Edwina Kosmitus, both Bona Fide rednecks, had nine children. They went to see their Doctor to get Dave "Fixed". The Doctor asked them why had the come to the conclusion that they didn't want any more children. Dave said that they had read a recent article in the newspaper tha...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
624
|
|
|
|
The Aussie BBQ routine....
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
602
|
|
|
|
lol...
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
2
|
927
|
|
|
|
Privacy..
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
1
|
748
|
|
|
|
Swearing...
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
1
|
891
|
|
|
|
Why?
(Preview)
He turned to her, ran his hand up her thigh, across her belly and down her legs. When he turned back to watch the television, She asked "Why stop"? "Found the remote"! He replied.
|
Possum3
|
3
|
737
|
|
|
|
Low mileage
(Preview)
A blonde wanted to sell her car but she couldnt find any buyers. She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked how many kilometres she had on her car. She answered, 300,000. Her fried told her that was the problem. So the blonde went to the mechanic and told him to put it down to 70,000 kms. A couple...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
825
|
|
|
|
Johnny
(Preview)
Gday... A road crew supervisor hired Johnny to paint the line down the middle of a highway. He was sceptical about hiring him given he didnt have experience, but he said he really needed the job. He told Johnny he needed to complete 2km per day, then set him up with brushes and paint. After day one, the sup...
|
rockylizard
|
2
|
727
|
|
|