Just Joking

bgt · bgt

I would just like to thank those who put a smile on my face on this forum. Thanks and have a great Christmas.

Possum3 · Possum3

An Irishman wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test. Here is your first question, the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9". "Without numbers?" The Irishman says? "Dat is easy". And proceeds to draw three trees. "What's this?" the boss as...

Possum3 · Possum3

The doctor said, "The good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition that causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one heck of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."...

Bobdown · Bobdown

MONDAYThe mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the familys status, she consulted the family doctor. The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl w...

Possum3 · Possum3

Bobdown · Bobdown

Low Battery: A married man saved his girlfriend's phone number on his mobile as 'Low Battery'. Whenever she calls him in his absence, his wife takes the phone and plugs it into the charger. Give that man a medal.~~~~~Two Thai girls asked me if I'd like to go bed with them. They said it would be just l...

Possum3 · Possum3

Mick: I've been going to Night Classes every night for 5 months now. Paddy: oh! Mick: For example, do you know who Alexander Graham Bell is? Paddy: No... Mick: He's the inventor of the phone in 1876. If you took night classes you'd know this. The next day, Mick: Do you know who Alexander Dumas is? Paddy: N...

Possum3 · Possum3

A woman went to the service counter and... told the clerk she wanted a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work The clerk told her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.. Suddenly, the woman threw her arms up in the air and started screaming, 'PINCH MY NIPPLES, PIN...

Possum3 · Possum3

Mick, Paddy, and Tat are in their local pub having a drink. One of the locals come over to them and asks "are you three triplets?... Paddy replies yes" The local asks "well how come you and Mick are six foot tall, and Tat is only four foot six? Paddy says "ah you see me and Mick were breast fed, but there was no...

Possum3 · Possum3

A man walked into the ladies department and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and... said, 'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. ' ' What type of bra?' asked the clerk. 'Type?' inquires the man, 'There's more than one type?' ' Look around,' said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every...

Possum3 · Possum3

After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his ...veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that cou...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

Possum3 · Possum3

There were these two elderly people living in a Gold Coast mobile home park: He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years. Now, one evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. These two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal w...

Possum3 · Possum3

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I'd like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband." The pharmacist's eyes got big...

JayDee · JayDee

Bert, at 85 years of age, always wanted a pair of soft spike golf shoes like Freddie Couples, so, seeing some on sale after his round, he bought them. He was so delighted with his purchase, he decided to wear them home to show the Mrs. Walking proudly into the house, he sauntered into the kitchen and sai...

Possum3 · Possum3

A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary: That night the wife approached her husband wearing the exact same sexy negligee she had worn on their wedding night. She looked at her husband and said. "Honey, do you remember this?" He looked up at her and said. "Yes dear, I do. You wore that...

Possum3 · Possum3

A few days before his wife's birthday: Husband: Dear. "What would you like for your present?" Wife: "I really don't think I should say." Husband: "How about a diamond ring?" Wife: "I don't care much for diamonds." Husband: "Well then, how about a mink coat?" Wife: "You know I do not like furs." Husband...

Possum3 · Possum3

People often complain about the police, but you rarely hear about the positive things they do, such as this incident involving a biker and a frozen carburettor. Last year on a bitterly cold winter's day, a motorcycle cop on patrol came upon a motorcyclist who was stalled by the roadside. The biker was...

Bobdown · Bobdown

Possum3 · Possum3

1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipst...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Thanks (Preview) I would just like to thank those who put a smile on my face on this forum. Thanks and have a great Christmas.	bgt	7	1624	02:37 PM Dec 15, 2019 by Possum3
	Irish Maths. (Preview) An Irishman wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test. Here is your first question, the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9". "Without numbers?" The Irishman says? "Dat is easy". And proceeds to draw three trees. "What's this?" the boss as...	Possum3	0	1122	02:12 PM Dec 15, 2019 by Possum3
	Headache cured. (Preview) The doctor said, "The good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition that causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one heck of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."...	Possum3	0	885	07:24 AM Dec 15, 2019 by Possum3
	A weeks worth of jokes (Preview) MONDAYThe mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the familys status, she consulted the family doctor. The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl w...	Bobdown	1	1483	01:10 AM Dec 15, 2019 by Tony Bev
	It's in the contract. (Preview)	Possum3	0	1071	06:27 PM Dec 14, 2019 by Possum3
	A few Quickies (Preview) Low Battery: A married man saved his girlfriend's phone number on his mobile as 'Low Battery'. Whenever she calls him in his absence, his wife takes the phone and plugs it into the charger. Give that man a medal.~~~~~Two Thai girls asked me if I'd like to go bed with them. They said it would be just l...	Bobdown	0	1002	11:07 AM Dec 14, 2019 by Bobdown
	Night Classes. (Preview) Mick: I've been going to Night Classes every night for 5 months now. Paddy: oh! Mick: For example, do you know who Alexander Graham Bell is? Paddy: No... Mick: He's the inventor of the phone in 1876. If you took night classes you'd know this. The next day, Mick: Do you know who Alexander Dumas is? Paddy: N...	Possum3	0	1130	08:26 AM Dec 14, 2019 by Possum3
	Returned toaster. (Preview) A woman went to the service counter and... told the clerk she wanted a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work The clerk told her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.. Suddenly, the woman threw her arms up in the air and started screaming, 'PINCH MY NIPPLES, PIN...	Possum3	0	1000	11:04 PM Dec 13, 2019 by Possum3
	Irish Triplets (Preview) Mick, Paddy, and Tat are in their local pub having a drink. One of the locals come over to them and asks "are you three triplets?... Paddy replies yes" The local asks "well how come you and Mick are six foot tall, and Tat is only four foot six? Paddy says "ah you see me and Mick were breast fed, but there was no...	Possum3	0	920	10:53 PM Dec 13, 2019 by Possum3
	WHAT RELIGION IS YOUR BRA? (Preview) A man walked into the ladies department and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and... said, 'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. ' ' What type of bra?' asked the clerk. 'Type?' inquires the man, 'There's more than one type?' ' Look around,' said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every...	Possum3	0	1210	05:01 PM Dec 13, 2019 by Possum3
	Redneck Vasectomy. (Preview) After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his ...veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that cou...	Possum3	1	1170	11:38 PM Dec 12, 2019 by tonyd
	Our dog... (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	1	1218	07:26 PM Dec 11, 2019 by Baggie
	Love. (Preview) There were these two elderly people living in a Gold Coast mobile home park: He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years. Now, one evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. These two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal w...	Possum3	0	783	04:14 PM Dec 11, 2019 by Possum3
	Poison. (Preview) A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I'd like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband." The pharmacist's eyes got big...	Possum3	0	1163	03:44 PM Dec 11, 2019 by Possum3
	Hats are on special... especially for old men. (Preview) Bert, at 85 years of age, always wanted a pair of soft spike golf shoes like Freddie Couples, so, seeing some on sale after his round, he bought them. He was so delighted with his purchase, he decided to wear them home to show the Mrs. Walking proudly into the house, he sauntered into the kitchen and sai...	JayDee	0	1327	09:42 PM Dec 10, 2019 by JayDee
	50th Anniversary. (Preview) A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary: That night the wife approached her husband wearing the exact same sexy negligee she had worn on their wedding night. She looked at her husband and said. "Honey, do you remember this?" He looked up at her and said. "Yes dear, I do. You wore that...	Possum3	0	1365	10:27 AM Dec 10, 2019 by Possum3
	Ultimate Birthday Present for the Wife: (Preview) A few days before his wife's birthday: Husband: Dear. "What would you like for your present?" Wife: "I really don't think I should say." Husband: "How about a diamond ring?" Wife: "I don't care much for diamonds." Husband: "Well then, how about a mink coat?" Wife: "You know I do not like furs." Husband...	Possum3	0	1413	10:17 AM Dec 10, 2019 by Possum3
	Frozen carburettor. (Preview) People often complain about the police, but you rarely hear about the positive things they do, such as this incident involving a biker and a frozen carburettor. Last year on a bitterly cold winter's day, a motorcycle cop on patrol came upon a motorcyclist who was stalled by the roadside. The biker was...	Possum3	0	1316	09:01 AM Dec 9, 2019 by Possum3
	Cheers ........an oldie but a goodie (Preview)	Bobdown	0	1204	12:09 PM Dec 6, 2019 by Bobdown
	How children perceive their Grandparents. (Preview) 1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipst...	Possum3	0	1785	09:50 AM Dec 5, 2019 by Possum3
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