|
Three Roses.
(Preview)
After her fifth child, Lucy decided that she should have some cosmetic surgery "down below" to restore herself to her former youthful glory because her genitals were dangling a bit too low and looked like a ripped out fireplace. Time and childbirth had taken its toll and she reckoned that, with five c...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
833
|
|
|
|
Bear Remover
(Preview)
A man wakes up one morning in Alaska to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for 'Bear Removers.' He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes. The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a s...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
1069
|
|
|
|
Mongolian Disease.
(Preview)
While in China , a man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time he is there. A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having s...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
880
|
|
|
|
Bills
(Preview)
It always seems a hassle dealing with bills coming in at inconvenient times while you're on the road. A friend of mine has the solution - he ignores them and awaits a final demand - usually quite rude and abrupt! He then writes to the creditor advising them of his bill paying process. He tells them tha...
|
Toby313
|
2
|
1226
|
|
|
|
Off To Court
(Preview)
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus she noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver an...
|
Sarco Harris
|
0
|
939
|
|
|
|
where would you be
(Preview)
|
Craig1
|
2
|
1286
|
|
|
|
The Parrot.
(Preview)
A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesnt have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, Jeesh, I wonder what happen...ed to this parrot.? The parrot says, I was born this way. Im a defective parrot. Holy crap, the guy replies. You actually understood and answered m...
|
Possum3
|
3
|
1602
|
|
|
|
The note.
(Preview)
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow: It was addressed, 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands. Dear...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1181
|
|
|
|
Granny.
(Preview)
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1772
|
|
|
|
Toilet seat.
(Preview)
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1274
|
|
|
|
Golf.
(Preview)
A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag." "Oh, really? Darn...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1130
|
|
|
|
An Irish Affair.
(Preview)
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1404
|
|
|
|
Fred
(Preview)
|
Craig1
|
0
|
1261
|
|
|
|
Marine Corps.
(Preview)
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. ---The next day, the kids came back ...and, one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular types of stuff: Spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher rea...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1225
|
|
|
|
Why Scots don't wear Ear Muffs:
(Preview)
Winters can be extremely cold in northern Scotland, so the owner of the estate felt he was doing a good deed when he bought earmuffs for his farm worker, Archie. Noticing, however, that Archie wasn't wearing the earmuffs even on the coldest day, the owner asked, 'Didn't you like the earmuffs I gave yo...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1280
|
|
|
|
The horth wissper
(Preview)
|
Craig1
|
0
|
1223
|
|
|
|
only in australia
(Preview)
|
Craig1
|
0
|
1274
|
|
|
|
Organist.
(Preview)
A small church had a very attractive big-busted organist named Susan, and her breasts were so large that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the male part of the congregation considerably. The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said somet...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1452
|
|
|
|
Army Life.
(Preview)
Dear Mum & Dad, I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the farm - tell them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleepi...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1333
|
|
|
|
Newly wed
(Preview)
a bit sticky as well -- Edited by Craig1 on Wednesday 9th of October 2019 09:18:01 PM
|
Craig1
|
0
|
1182
|
|
|