|
Gangsta Granny.
(Preview)
An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags ...and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, "I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car - NOW!" The four men d...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
484
|
|
|
|
|
The Lion
(Preview)
|
Bobdown
|
0
|
535
|
|
|
|
|
What's for dinner?
(Preview)
Fred feared his wife Rhonda might not be hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Unsure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem. The doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give him a better idea about he...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
683
|
|
|
|
|
She needs a drink !!!!
(Preview)
They drive you to it.........
|
Bobdown
|
0
|
692
|
|
|
|
|
Kangaroo.
(Preview)
A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a five metre fence. Surprisingly, he was out the very next morning, happily jumping around the zoo. A 10-metre fence was then put up, but again, he got out. When the fence was 20 metres high, a c...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
615
|
|
|
|
|
Vincent Van Gogh
(Preview)
A man walks into a pub and sees Vincent Van Gogh sitting in the corner. "Fancy a pint Vincent?" He asks. "No thanks" Van Gogh replies. "I've got one 'ere".
|
Possum3
|
0
|
538
|
|
|
|
|
Three Nuns.
(Preview)
Three Italian nuns arrive at the pearly gates and are told that, because they have devoted their lives to the world, they can return to earth for three months, taking on the identity of any person they choose. The first nun said she wanted to return as Helen of Troy. Why Helen? asked St Peter. Because she...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
492
|
|
|
|
|
Corona distancing
(Preview)
Corona distancing in our local bottle shop!
|
Whenarewethere
|
0
|
547
|
|
|
|
|
Nominated as the best short joke this year... (by a female ha ha)
(Preview)
A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath. "Mom" he asked, "are these my brains?" "Not yet," she replied.
|
Bobdown
|
0
|
577
|
|
|
|
|
Exorcist.
(Preview)
A week ago my mother in law began reading "The Exorcist". She said it was the most evil book she had ever read. So evil in fact that she took it and threw it in the ocean. I went and bought another copy, and soaked it under a tap. I then put it in the drawer on her bedside table. I think I'm going to Hell.
|
Possum3
|
1
|
807
|
|
|
|
|
Face masks
(Preview)
Always do what the taxi driver says............
|
Bobdown
|
0
|
786
|
|
|
|
|
Bar joke.
(Preview)
A Priest, a Rabbit and a Minister walk into a Bar. The bartender asks "What do you all want to drink". The Rabbit says "I Dunno, I'm only here because of Autocorrect"
|
Possum3
|
0
|
809
|
|
|
|
|
WHAT IS A GRANDPARENT?
(Preview)
Taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds. You'll love it: Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of th...eir own. They like other peoples.' A grandfather is a man & a grandmother is a lady! Grandparents don't have to do anything except be there when we come to see the...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
878
|
|
|
|
|
Pretty Necklace.
(Preview)
A lady tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Indigenous woman. What is it made of? she asked. Crocodiles teeth, the woman replied. I suppose, she said patronisingly. That they mean as much to you as pearls do to us. Oh no, she objected. Anybody can open an oyster.
|
Possum3
|
0
|
618
|
|
|
|
|
Prayer.
(Preview)
The ministers six-year-old daughter had been so naughty during the week that her mother decided to give her the worst kind of punishment. She told her she couldnt go to the Sunday School picnic on Saturday. When the day came, her mother felt she had been too harsh and changed her mind. When she told the l...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
594
|
|
|
|
|
Lockdown.
(Preview)
During the lock-down, I've run out of entertainment. So I send David (my next door neighbour) flowers every Saturday evening, with a message. The note reads "I miss you so much". Then I go back to my balcony, open a beer and listen to his wife.
|
Possum3
|
0
|
500
|
|
|
|
|
Chuch Organist.
(Preview)
Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her ol...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
498
|
|
|
|
|
Chuck Norris to the rescue again
(Preview)
Coronavirus claims a black belt. Chuck Norris, Dead at 80. Carlos Ray Chuck Norris, famous actor and fighter, died yesterday afternoon at his home in Northwood Hills, TX at the age of 80.... Chuck Starred in dozens of movies and TV series which have, and continue to entertain millions of people. He wa...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
550
|
|
|
|
|
Olaf
(Preview)
Olaf and Lena were a couple in love from the back blocks of Norway, but throughout their courtship Olaf and Lena abstained from sex. The closer it got to the wedding the more Olaf got excited. Until one night after a heavy petting session Olaf beat the pickle so much that he ended up with a big blister.Wor...
|
rgren2
|
0
|
531
|
|
|
|
|
Bored?
(Preview)
|
Bobdown
|
0
|
696
|
|
|
