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The Only One
(Preview)
Totally out of the blue, my 55 year old girlfriend said I was the only one she's been to bed with. "What!!!" I replied. She then continued, "Yeah. I've been with a 10, a few 7 to 8s and lots of 5s but you're the only 1."
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Mein
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0
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569
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Butch the rooster
(Preview)
An Oldie but the last lines are relevant..... Butch, The Rooster. Sarah was in the fertilized egg business. She had several hundred young pullets (a young hen) and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. She kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a l...
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Bobdown
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1
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767
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A man and his wife...
(Preview)
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door.The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.Not a chance, says the husband, it is 3:00 in the morning!He slams the door and returns to bed.Who was that? asked his wif...
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aussie_paul
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2
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1124
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Financial Planning...
(Preview)
Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died,he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he ha...
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aussie_paul
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1
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819
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vaccinated..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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2
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751
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Messing with old folks....
(Preview)
A retired older couple return to a Mercedes dealership where the salesman has just sold the car they were interested in to a beautiful,leggy, busty blonde in a mini skirt and a halter top.The old man was visibly upset. He spoke to the salesman sharply. "Young man, I thought you said you would hold that c...
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aussie_paul
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1
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752
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New York Cabbie..
(Preview)
A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City and laid on the back seat.The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman.He made no attempt to start the cab. The woman glared back at him and said,"What's wrong with you, honey? Haven't yo...
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aussie_paul
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1
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693
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Early Morning Workout
(Preview)
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Craig1
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4
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1108
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Mother - Daughter Experience
(Preview)
I went to a bar last night; a place thats popular for mature age singles, i.e. 50+ There was one woman, mid 50ish, that kept looking over at me so I went over to her and introduced myself. After an hour or so of chatting, she asked me if I wanted to go back to her place. During the drove there she asked me whe...
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Mein
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0
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617
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How to give a cat a pill....
(Preview)
How to give a cat a pill....Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby.Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth an...
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aussie_paul
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2
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890
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Repeating jokes too soon very tiresome
(Preview)
Too many jokes repeated too soon, it becomes a bit tiresome. Read back a dozen pages for a bare minimum, a 100 pages would be better.
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Whenarewethere
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5
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927
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Capitals
(Preview)
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Radar
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2
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777
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Here is one for whenarewethere
(Preview)
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Ivan 01
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6
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1000
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Gary Vider -- stand-up comedian
(Preview)
This guy is a self-deprecating Jewish comedian. He reminds me of Woody Allen.
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dorian
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0
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705
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Little Johnny yet again
(Preview)
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Ivan 01
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0
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542
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A mask mandate
(Preview)
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Ivan 01
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0
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561
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Say a little prayer
(Preview)
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, 'Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, But they only know to say one thing' What do they say?' the priest asked. They say, 'Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?' That's obscene!' the priest exclaimed, Then he thought for a moment....
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Ivan 01
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0
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647
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Upon Reflection
(Preview)
An Irish man went to confession in St. Patrick's Catholic Church. 'Father', he confessed, 'it has been one month since my last confession. I had sex with Fanny Green twice last month.' The priest told the sinner, 'You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's. Soon thereafter, another Irish man e...
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Ivan 01
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0
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544
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Never die wondering
(Preview)
A man sunbathes in the nude and burns his penis. His doctor tells him to dip it in a saucer of milk to ease the pain. Later his blonde wife comes home to find him with his willy in the saucer of milk. 'Well I'll be..' she remarks, 'I always wondered how men reloaded those things...'
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Ivan 01
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0
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640
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ran out of petrol
(Preview)
There were three Sisters of St Bernadette driving in outback Australia and they ran out of petrol - devastating.Sister Angelina said "There's a house over there on the hill, perhaps the farmer could lend us some petrol to get us into town".So the three hopeful Sisters walked across to the homestead a...
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aussie_paul
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0
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800
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