I hate calling in sick to work. Even when I have a perfectly good reason, I always feel like my boss assumes Im lying.

Well, recently I did have a real reasonbut it was so humiliating, I lied anyway. I told them Id injured my head, and that I hoped to be in the next day.

The real story started because my wife insisted we adopt a cute little kitten. At first, everything was fine.

Then one morning, while I was taking my shower, I heard my wife call from the kitchen.

Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Can you reset it?

You know where the button is, I said. Reset it yourself!

But Im scared! What if it turns on and sucks me in?

There was a long pause then:

Please? Itll only take a second!

So I stepped out of the showerdripping wet and completely nakedhoping shed notice my silent protest.

Grumbling, I knelt down and stuck my head under the sink to push the reset button.

Thats the last clear moment I remember.

Suddenlyout of nowhereour kitten attacked the dangling toys she spotted beneath me. Those little claws hooked in like Velcro.

Instant panic. No rational thought. Just pure flight mode.

I shot straight upward with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my most sensitive region until my head slammed into the underside of the sink and knocked me out cold.

When I woke up, I was stretched out naked on the kitchen floor with my wife and three paramedics standing over metrying, and failing, not to laugh.

Theyd been fully briefed on the situation.

A few days later, I finally returned to work. Everyone wanted to know how Id gotten the head injury.

I just shook my head and said, Too painful to talk about.

Why? they asked. Cat got your tongue?

If they only knew.