The Dark Absorber Theory

For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light, but

recent information has proved otherwise. Electric bulbs don't emit

light; they absorb dark. Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Absorbers.

The Dark Absorber Theory and the existence of dark absorbers prove

that dark has mass and is heavier than light.

First, the basis of the Dark Absorber Theory is that electric bulbs

absorb dark. For example, take the Dark Absorber in the room you are

in. There is much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere.

The larger the Dark Absorber, the greater its capacity to absorb

dark. Dark Absorbers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity

to absorb dark than the ones in this room.

As with all things, Dark Absorbers don't last forever. Once they are

full of dark, they can no longer absorb. This is proven by the dark

spot on a full Dark Absorber. A candle is a primitive Dark Absorber.

A new candle has a white wick. You can see that after the first use,

the wick turns black, representing all the dark that has been

absorbed into it. If you put a pencil next to the wick of an

operating candle, it will turn black. This is because it got in the

way of the dark flowing into the candle. One of the disadvantages of

these primitive Dark Absorbers is their limited range.

There are also portable Dark Absorbers. In these, the bulbs can't

handle all the dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage

Unit. When the Dark Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied

or replaced before the portable Dark Absorber can operate again. Dark

has mass. When dark goes into a Dark Absorber, friction from the mass

generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating Dark

Absorber. Candles present a special problem as the mass must travel

into a solid wick instead of through clear glass. This generates a

great amount of heat and therefore it's not wise to touch an

operating candle.

Also, dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below the

surface of the lake, you would see a lot of light. If you were to

slowly swim deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting darker and

darker. When you get really deep, you would be in total darkness.

This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and

the lighter light floats at the top. The is why it is called light.

Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to

stand in a lit room in front of a closed, dark closet, and slowly

opened the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the

closet. But since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the

dark leave the closet. This is proof positive that the Dark Absorber

Theory is true.