I am married and already very disturbed."

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A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant. As the food was served, the husband said,

"The food looks delicious, let's eat."

Wife: Honey.....you say a prayer before eating at home.

Husband: That's at home sweetheart......here the chef knows how to cook.

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A man gave his wife a diamond necklace for their anniversary and his wife didn't speak to him for 6 months.

Why? Was the necklace FAKE?

Nooooo......... That was the deal...

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Employee: Sir, you are like a lion in the office. What about at home?

Boss: I am a lion at home too, but there we have a lion tamer.

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A married man's prayer:

Dear God, U gave me childhood, U took it away; U gave me youth, U took it away; U gave me a wife.......... Its been years now, just reminding U.......

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A frustrated husband in front of his laptop:

Dear google, please do not behave like my wife...

Please allow me to complete my sentence before you start guessing and suggesting...

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Only very courageous men should let their wives see this one! Humour plus.

Wife: Shall I prepare Curry or Soup today.

Husband: First make it, we will name it later.

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Two guys are drinking in a bar.

One says, My wife ran off with my best friend.

His drinking companion says, I thought I was your best friend.

Not any more, is the reply.