A teacher walks up to the whiteboard and writes DEFINITELY

She turns to the class and says, Today well be looking at the word definitely.

Definitely is when something is assured and there is no chance of doubt. Now, I want some volunteers to use definitely in a statement.

Little Suzy raises her hand and says, I am definitely going to the park after school today.

No, I would think theres a good chance youll go to the park but it might rain so its not definitely.

Little Billy raises his hand and says, My team are definitely going to win the game this Saturday.

No, I know you really want your team to win the game this Saturday but wanting is not enough to make it definitely.

Little Johnny raises his hand and says, Miss, is there such a thing as a lumpy fart?

No.

Then I definitely just sh*t myself.