Shamelessly pilfered from ...

https://www.liveabout.com/nerd-jokes-4178877

A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting.

The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left.

The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right.

The statistician shouts, "We got him!"

Schrodinger gets pulled over by a cop.

The cop searches the trunk and says, "Do you know there's a dead cat in here?"

Schrodinger says, "Well I do now!"

A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus.

"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bartender.

The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!"

There are two types of people in the world.

Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.

A wife sends her software engineer husband to the store.

"Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk. And if they have eggs, get six!"

Later, the husband comes back with six cartons of milk. The wife asks him why he bought six cartons of milk and he replied, "They had eggs."

Did you know there's a band called 1023MB?

They're not bad, but they haven't had any gigs yet.

A photon is checking into a hotel.

The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"

The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."

https://jokojokes.com/nerd-jokes.html

Finding great success as a scientist Heisenberg decides to buy a sports car. He is blazing down the highway when he sees a cop car behind him. He pulls over and the cop comes up to the window and asks: "Do you have *any* idea how fast you were going?!"

Heisenberg looks at him and replies: "No, but I can tell you *exactly* where I am."

What do you call a nerd after high school?

Boss

A nerd walked into bar.

He wasn't wearing his glasses.

Why do mathematicians confuse Halloween and Christmas?

Because OCT 31 = DEC 25.

https://humoropedia.com/funny-nerd-jokes/

A group of protesters in front of a physics lab:

What do we want?

Time travel

When do we want it?

Irrelevant.

Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks, Do all of you want a drink?

The first logician says, I don't know.

The second logician says, I don't know.

The third logician says, Yes.

https://laffgaff.com/hilarious-nerd-jokes/

A logician's wife is having a baby. Straight after the birth the doctor hands the baby to the father. The wife asks impatiently, Is it a boy or a girl?

The logician replies, Yes.

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says, I'll have some H20.

The second one says, I'll have some H20 too.

The second one dies.

There are only two hard things in computer science -- cache invalidation, naming things and off-by-one errors.

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

What do you call two crows on a branch?

Attempted murder.

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A fish.

https://top-funny-jokes.com/nerd-jokes/

A roman soldier walked into a bar.

He held up two fingers and said to the bartender: Five beers please.

There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

When I was a kid, my English teacher looked my way and said: Name two pronouns.

I said, Who, me?

https://jokesquotesfactory.com/funny-nerdy-jokes-dorky-geeky-puns-oneliner/

Infinitely many mathematicians walk into a bar. The first says, I'll have a beer. The second says, I'll have half a beer. The third says, I'll have a quarter of a beer. The barman pulls out just two beers.

The mathematicians are upset: That's all you're giving us? How drunk do you expect us to get on that?

The bartender: Come on guys. Know your limits.

A young man was applying to join Starfleet.

Recruiting officer: Where were you born?

Young man: Earth, sir.

Recruiting officer: What part?

Young man: All of me, sir.

McCoy: Should we have a friendly game of cards?

Kirk: No, let's play poker.

McCoy: I've borrowed Mr. Scott's bagpipes.

Kirk: But you can't play them.

McCoy: While I've got them, neither can he!