WHY I LOVE OLD WOMEN!

SHE WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCH RAIL.  AS  SHE STOOD THERE,  BRUSHING SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER  STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE OF  WHISKEY IN THE OTHER.

The young gunslinger looked at the old woman and laughed, saying,  "Hey Old WOMAN, have you ever danced?"

THE OLD WOMAN LOOKED UP AT THE GUNSLINGER AND SAID, "NO, I NEVER  DID DANCE...  NEVER REALLY WANTED TO."

A CROWD HAD GATHERED AS THE GUNSLINGER GRINNED AND SAID, "WELL, YOU  OLD BAG, YOU'RE GONNA DANCE NOW," AND STARTED SHOOTING AT THE OLD WOMAN'S FEET.

THE OLD WOMAN, NOT WANTING TO GET HER TOE BLOWN OFF STARTED HOPPING  AROUND.   EVERYBODY  WAS LAUGHING.

WHEN HIS LAST BULLET HAD BEEN FIRED, THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER, STILL  LAUGHING, HOLSTERED HIS GUN AND TURNED AROUND TO GO BACK INTO THE SALOON.

THE OLD WOMAN TURNED TO HER PACK MULE, PULLED OUT ADOUBLE-BARRELED SHOTGUN,  AND ****ED BOTH HAMMERS.

THE LOUD CLICKS CARRIED CLEARLY THROUGH THE DESERT AIR.   THE CROWD  STOPPED LAUGHING IMMEDIATELY.

THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER HEARD THE SOUNDS TOO, AND HE TURNED AROUND VERY  SLOWLY.   THE  SILENCE WAS ALMOST DEAFENING.

THE CROWD WATCHED AS THE YOUNG GUNMAN STARED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND  THE LARGE GAPING HOLES OF THOSE TWIN BARRELS.

THE BARRELS OF THE SHOTGUN NEVER WAVERED IN THE OLD WOMAN'S HANDS,  AS SHE QUIETLY SAID, "SON, HAVE YOU EVER LICKED A MULE'S BUTT?"

THE GUNSLINGER SWALLOWED HARD AND SAID, "NO  MA'AM... BUT... I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO."

THERE ARE A FEW LESSONS FOR US ALL HERE:
           1 - Never be arrogant.
           2 - Don't waste ammunition.
           3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.
           4 - Always, always make sure you know who has the power.
           5 - Don't mess with old women; they didn't get old by beingstupid