*
*
Today I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall.
I thought to myself
That's a little condescending
*
*

*

*
*
*They say every piece of chocolate eaten shortens your life by two minutes.
I've done the math.
Seems I died in 1537.
*
*

*
*
I got myself a seniors' GPS.
Not only does it tell me how to get to my destination,
It tells me why I wanted to go there.
*
*

*
*
Most people don't think I'm as old as I am
until they hear me stand up.
*
*

*

*
*
I don't always go the extra mile,
but when I do
it's because I've missed my exit.
*
*


...and keep smiling

              The Honourable Members of Parliament.

Cynical or What? I think this says it all!

When you are bored just think about a few things that don't make sense ...like....

1. If poison expires, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?
 
2. Which letter is silent in the word "Scent," the S or the C?
 
3. Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned?
 
4. Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn't it be called double V?
 
5. Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and It just takes 75-100 years to fully work.
 
6. Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty.
 
7. The word "swims" upside-down is still "swims"
 
8. 100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars.
    Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.
 
9. If you replace "W" with "T" in "What, Where and When",  you get the answer to each of them.
 
Six great confusions still unresolved....
 
1. At a movie theater, which arm rest is yours?
 
2. If people evolve from monkeys, why are monkeys still around?
 
3. Why is there a 'D' in fridge, but not in refrigerator?
 
4.  Who knew what time it was when the first clock was made?
  
  
  

And now .... Vagaries (unpredictable event) of English Language! Enjoy!!!
 
- Wonder why the word funeral starts with FUN?
 
-Why isn't a Fireman called a Water-man?
 
- How come Lipstick doesn't do what it says?
 
- If money doesn't grow on trees, how come Banks have Branches?
 
- If a Vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a Humanitarian eat?
 
- How do you get off a non-stop Flight?
 
- Why are goods sent by ship called CARGO and those sent by truck SHIPMENT?
 
- Why do we put cups in the dishwasher and the dishes in the Cupboard?
 
- Why do doctors 'practice' medicine? Are they having practice at the cost of the patients?
 
- Why is it called 'Rush Hour' when traffic moves at its slowest then?
 
- How come Noses run and Feet smell?
 
- Why do they call it a TV 'set' when there is only one?
 
- What are you vacating when you go on a vacation?