The following is one of Dr. Schalmbaugh's Final Test questions for
May 1997--Dr. Schalmbaugh, University of Oklahoma School of
Chemical Engineering, is known for asking questions such as this on
his final exams:

     Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II Final Exam Question:  Is
hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with truth.

     Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using
Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the
following...

     First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have
some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass.
So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are
souls leaving? I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
gets to hell, it will not leave.

     Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell,
lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of
these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion,
we can project that all people and all souls go to hell. With birth
and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in
hell to increase exponentially.

     Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's
Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell
to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs
to stay constant.

     Case 1: If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at
which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell
will increase until all hell breaks loose.

     Case 2: If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will
drop until hell freezes over.

     So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by
Theresa Banyan during my freshman year, "it will be a cold night in
hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I
still have NOT succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then
case 2 cannot be true.

Thus, hell is exothermic.

The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.