John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said "Here's to spending the rest of my life between the legs of my wife!"                That won him top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!                                                                               He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for best toast of the night."                                                  She said, "Aye, did you now. What was your toast?"                                                                                               John said, "Here's to spending the rest of my sitting beside me wife in church."                                                        "Oh that was so nice, John" Mary said.                                                                                                                   The next day Mary ran into one of John's drinking mates. The man said to Mary with a chuckle and a leer "John won the toasting prize last night with a toast about you, Mary."   She said "Aye, he told me and I was a bit surprised myself. You know he's only been there twice in the last 4 years. The first time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come and the second time he fell asleep!"