Nomads with Gonads - From CPC Site - The Grey Nomads Forum

Click here
to visit the
Grey Nomads
website

check out the new remote control Jockey Wheel

SmartBar

Topargee products

Enginesaver Low Water Alarms

Members Login

Post Info

TOPIC: Nomads with Gonads - From CPC Site

Possum3

Guru

Status: Offline

Posts: 8748

Date: 07:27 AM May 2, 2021

Nomads with Gonads - From CPC Site	Permalink

Grey 'n' Brave (alternative title...Nomads with Gonads) Darkness came down on the caravans ... parked behind the pub A fair bunch of old Grey Nomads, the Country Camping Club They choose to stay near country pubs, they enjoy the atmosphere Plus the meals are pretty good and there's always ice cold beer Up there in the front bar, the boss calls it a day The barmaid sweeps the floors, the guests are on their way Back out to their caravans for a night of blissful sleep Another golden day of making memories to keep Although his missus disapproves, Laurie Jones from Bright Conducts his final business in the moonlight every night He feels at one with nature out there in the evening breeze And he does at least go far enough to be shadowed by the trees. As he stood out there this evening he knew something wasn't right A van pulled up behind the pub and it had not a single light Now Laurie is no hero, he's not that brave at all But standing in the shadows he couldn't help but see it all Two blokes dressed in black had opened up the van They unloaded some equipment, no doubt they had a plan To rob the pub tonight, and right then Laurie knew He'd better pull his finger out and alert the camping crew Way out there in Balanville there is no cop in town They'd have to call them in, it'd take an hour to come down So the nomads gathered urgently in Normy Cavan's annexe They'd have to step up to the plate Without much time to plan it. Barney Rogers was ex Military so he assumed command He had a dozen old grey nomads who were ready there at hand Mackenzie got his bagpipes out to lead them to the fray They told him " No Jock, it's not Braveheart , we'll go in quietly today" Little Austin Chivell had scouted the entire hotel scene And reported they were in the cellar with oxy acetylene He heard them working on the safe, cutting out the door They wouldn't need much longer, the time to act was now for sure Barney led them in, they crossed the lawn a dozen strong Jacky James spotted equipment he thought they'd take along It was a kiddies slip and slide, they ran it out along the floor It went right from the entrance thru to the cellar door Laurie made some soapy slush and spread it on the mat There's not a man alive who could stay vertical on that The crooks were both still busy down there in the cellar So big Billy Brand got on his run up, a man mountain, a huge fella Laurie knocked on the cellar door, yelled "hey whats goin on?" They heard the bloke run up the steps, their plan was right on song Billy thundered up the hallway and went feet first on the mat They reckon he hit a Hundred Ks or maybe more than that The man in black stepped out the door and Billy wiped him out Backwards down the cellar steps, out cold without a doubt What a sight was Billy, wearing jocks and that was all From that night on they'd call him 'the human cannon ball' The crook still in the cellar pretty quickly knew the score He bolted up the steps and did a runner for the door But the passage was in darkness , just one light down near the back Head down he made a dash for it, then everything went black He rushed on through the darkness thinking he might make it yet But it was then that he encountered Les Watson's fishing net Illegal right across the nation , Les kept it 'just in case' It was bound to be a tangled mess when hit at such a pace Flapping like a Murray Cod down there on the floor The boys wrapped the net around him and duct taped him to be sure There would be no escape, the robbery was foiled The Grey Nomads had worked together like a machine that was well oiled Twenty minutes later the cops rolled in, sirens wailing, flashing lights They were greeted and surprised by a most relaxing sight All the Nomads and their ladies eating scones and drinking tea And couple of would be burglars were duct taped to a tree The cops were most impressed "how did you get it done?" "We worked together as a team, it was actually quite fun" "As we travel around we sometimes meet folk who are quite feral But if you underestimate Grey Nomads, you do so at your peril. Robert Dungey. __________________ Possum; AKA:- Ali El-Aziz Mohamed Gundawiathan Sent from my imperial66 typewriter using carrier pigeon, message sticks and smoke signals.

Page 1 of 1 sorted by

Tweet this page

Post to Digg

Post to Del.icio.us

Purchase Grey Nomad bumper stickers

Read our daily column, the Nomad News

The Grey Nomad's Guidebook