So I've gone up to the deli ,to get myself a coke.. It was my first encounter with this big mouthed smart arsed bloke.

The girl's about to serve me....and Im all set to pay When this bloody great big boof head pushes me away.

I said 'hey what ya doin mate?' He was mean and just bad news. He said ,'ya gotta keep ya wits about ya ,ya know ya snooze ya lose.'

Im here to tell you people ,he got right up my snout Life is much more difficult with blokes like that about.

The bugger had me stirred right up ,and when i got back to the van My missus made it worse by saying....'can you empty out the can?'

Fair dinkum,it can get no worse, when you want to have a grump. She asks you oh so sweetly to take the cassette to the dump.

Well we have the full upmarket job that runs on bearinged wheels, Ya gotta just be careful that it doesn't clip your heels

So I hooked the cassette from the slot...I was all but set to go But what was going on across the park?....ya wouldn't wanna know.

The big galoot I'd run in with just a little while before Was also getting ready for nobody's favourite chore He had his cassette ready for the trip up to the dump

I felt a challenge coming on....and I was bloody pumped. He was way across the other side ,like..a dozen rows from me.

But we had to travel similar distance to the dump facility It was about a hundred metres, and a not so simple track

But I had a chance to square up and I was set to have a crack.

He must have sensed the competition, but he dismissed me with a sneer I had to let him know that he was causing me no fear

I yelled ' HEY, HAVE A GO YA MUG!!' A very clever thing to say

And when I raised my middle finger the race was underway

At first the big bloke fired up ...adrenalin and hate But I knew he'd have to weaken on that crazy kind of rate

We belted past the kitchen...cassettes bounced along behind We were going at it flat out, no rules had been defined.

Up towards the amenities ,the big bloke on full power A lady walked into his path , fresh out of the shower

This was no time for niceties...he was hunting for the crown He took her out completely and the poor old girl went down

Right then i knew this had to be a hard and ruthless day I yelled at all the kids and dogs...'get out the bloody way!'

Although our 'racing' lanes were far apart and parallel I knew I had to win ...this dunny run from Hell

Every time I looked across he was looking back at me We were going stride for stride in our quest for victory.

Then while he was busy looking , a boom gate arm descended.

He took it squarely in the belly, it looked like his race had ended

I cleared out to a handy lead as the big bloke sucked in air The poor bugger was in awful pain, guess what ....I didn't care

I made every post a winner, at certain victory I was staring. When my cassette went all wobbly... oh my God, she'd chucked a bearing.

Suddenly my speed was gone as the bearing sound was grinding Old mate was up again and running, I didn't need reminding.

With half the race remaining,the heat was really on When I looked for my opponent....he was missing, he was gone.

He'd headed across the playground, it would save a bit of time But he was on the bouncy pad now,traction hard to find.

He was looking for the best track so the race he could rejoin

He didn't see the see saw....it took him in the groin

He was writhing on the lawn there,a crowd had gathered round I was head down bum up,pulling back lost ground

I turned the corner well in front and headed for the dump When I rolled my ankle badly,I was again under the pump.

The big bloke had recovered, he was coming home flat out He could have won it walking, but he was gonna leave no doubt

He had me well and truly beaten as I was limping in behind And my cassette wheel continued with its painful broken grind.

He'd decided he'd put in a sprint to really rub it in When his cassette hit a speed hump and went into a spin.

He went to look behind him ,and tripped arse over head The cassette slammed into his noggin,he looked like he was dead

But he came round rousing slowly, I tipped my cassette down the drain. Victory was oh so sweet, I'd evened up the game

I said ' bad luck for you old mate...Geez , that is a shocking bruise. But ya gotta keep ya wits about ya. Ya know ya snooze, ya lose.