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Post Info TOPIC: The Engineer's Dictionary (I like this :) )
Mike Harding


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The Engineer's Dictionary (I like this :) )
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The Engineer's Dictionary

Major Technological Breakthrough    Back to the drawing board.

Developed after years of intensive      It was discovered by accident.
research

Modifications are underway to correct   We threw the whole thing out and are
certain minor difficulties              starting from scratch.


Project slightly behind original        We are working on something else.
schedule due to unforseen difficulties


The designs are well within allowable   We just made it, stretching a point
limits                                  or two

Customer satisfaction is believed       We are so far behind schedule that the
assured                                 customer was happy to get anything at
                                        all from us.

Close project coordination              We should have asked someone else or
                                        let's spread the responsibility for
                                        this.

A number of different approaches are    We don't know where we're going, but
being tried                             we're moving.

Extensive effort is being applied on    We just hired three new guys; we'll
a fresh approach to the problem         let them kick it around for a while.



The design will be finalized in the     We haven't started this job yet, but
next reporting period                   we've got to say something.

Test results were extremely gratifying  It works, and are we surprised!

Preliminary operational tests are       The dam thing blew up when we turned
inconclusive                            it on.

The entire concept will have to be      The only guy who understood the thing
abandoned                               left.



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"I beseech you in the bowels of Christ think it possible you may be mistaken"

Oliver Cromwell, 3rd August 1650 - in a letter to the General Assembly of the Kirk of Scotland
Bicyclecamper


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This, actually covers our government works projects as well.

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Ric - The Eccentric One
Craig1


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Or " i am an engineer and here to help", run like buggery

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Cheers Craig
Tony Bev


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Good to see that you can laugh at yourself, Mike

I worked under plenty of Engineers, in the metal trades

Some were very focused, (usually the younger ones, still learning)

Some had a humorous side to them

One (who is a friend of mine), is outright funny

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Tony

It cost nothing to be polite
Mike Harding


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Hi Tony

I reckon if you cannot laugh at yourself then you're a miserable devil.

Another joke:

How can you tell when you're talking to an extrovert engineer?

Because he looks at your shoes rather than his own.



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"I beseech you in the bowels of Christ think it possible you may be mistaken"

Oliver Cromwell, 3rd August 1650 - in a letter to the General Assembly of the Kirk of Scotland
Greg 1


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I used to do some work for an Architectural and Engineering practise that was owed by two blokes who were mates, one an Engineer the other an Architect. They used to make me laugh because the Architect would come up with some design that he wanted to do, but his mate wouldn't let him because it was structurally unsound, and to make it so it was ok the Architect thought it was then ugly. They would then retire to their respective corners of the office with the Architect muttering he hated engineers and the Engineer muttering about stupid architects. They had worked together for years so I gathered this procedure to get a design out the door was the regular daily occurrence.

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Greg O'Brien
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