Arriving home, a husband was met by his sobbing wife.

Tearfully she explained, "The Chemist. He insulted me this morning on the phone.

I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone."

The husband drove down to confront the Chemist to demand an apology.

Before he could say more than a word or two, the Chemist said "Now, just a minute... hear my side of it.

This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late.

Without breakfast I hurried out to the car, to realise I'd locked the house with house and car keys inside.

I had to break a window to get my keys.."

"Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket.

About three streets from the store, I had a flat tyre."

"When I finally got to the store a bunch of people were waiting for me to open up. 

Whilst waiting on these people, All the time the damn phone never stopped ringing." 

"Then I had to break open a roll of dollar coins against the cash register drawer to give change, and they spilled all over the floor.

 I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the money and the phone was still ringing.

When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with bottles of expensive perfumes on it.

 Half of them hit the floor and broke."

 "Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got to answer it.

 It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer.

 And believe me, mate, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her!!..