As a man is leaving his house for work his wife shouts out "Don't forget to buy a bag of snails on your way home, my parents are coming for dinner remember".
The man agrees and rushes off to work, where he has a terrible, stressful day. Sure enough, when he gets home he's forgotten the bag of snails.
"I can't believe you've forgot to get them, you know how much my mum loves escargot. You've got 1 hour to go and get them" screams his wife.
The man runs to the local shop and buys the bag of snails. As he's walking home he goes past his local pub and his best mate runs outside and says "Hey mate come and have a drink, it's John's birthday".
The man says "yeah **** it, but I'll just have to have a quick one as I've got the in laws coming for tea".
Needless to say, one pint turns into four which turns into ten and before he knows it, the pubs closing. He grabs his bag of snails and staggers back home, drunk as a Lord.
When he gets to his garden gate, he decides to vault it and in his drunken state falls flat on his face, spilling the bag of snails all over the garden path.
His wife flung open the front door and starts screaming "Where the hell have you been!? You knew my parents were coming for tea you pig!"
The man gets to his feet, turns around to the snails on the path and waves them onwards saying " Come on lads, not far now!".
