Mick and Paddy had promised their uncle Seamus, who had been a seafaring gent all his life, to bury him at sea when he died. Of course, in due time, he did pass away and the boys kept their promise.
They set off with Uncle Seamus all stitched up in a burial bag and loaded onto their rowboat.
After a while Mick says "Do yer tink dis is fer enuff out, Paddy?"
Without a word Paddy slips over the side, only to find himself standing in water up to his knees. "Dis'll neva do, Mick. Let's row some more".
After a bit more rowing Paddy slips over the side again, but the water is only up to his belly, so they row on.
Again Mick asks Paddy "Do yer tink dis is fer enuff out, Paddy?" Once again Paddy slips over the side and almost immediately says "No, dis'll neva do". The water was only up to his chest.
So on they row and row and row and finally Paddy slips over the side and disappears. Quite a bit of time goes by and poor Mick is really getting himself into a state when suddenly Paddy breaks the surface, gasping for breath. "Well is it deep enuff yet, Paddy?"
A wealthy Arab Sheikh was admitted to the hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, they needed to store his type of blood in case the need arose. As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally, so, the call went out.
Finally, a Scotsman was located who had a similar blood type. The Scot willingly donated his blood for the Arab.
After the surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman in appreciation for giving his blood, a new BMW, 5 carats of diamonds, and $50,000 dollars.
A couple of days later, once again, the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. The hospital telephoned the Scotsman who was more than happy to donate more of his blood again.
After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a Thank-you card and a box of Chocolates. The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had before.
He phoned the Arab and asked him: "I thought you would be generous again, that you would give me another BMW, diamonds and money ... but you only gave me a Thank-you card and a box of Chocolates".
To this the Arab replied: "Aye Laddie, but I have Scottish blood in me veins now".
Two soldiers were having a chat during their free time. First Soldier "Why did you join the army?" Second Soldier "I didn't have a wife and I loved war. So, I joined. How about you? Why did you join the army?" First Soldier "I had a wife and I loved peace. So, I joined".
