There was a power failure in a Dublin Department Store last week and three hundred people were stranded on the escalators for more than two hours.
OLeary, your glass is empty, will you be having another one?
And what would I be doing with two empty glasses? OLeary replied.
Young Teresa came home with some dreadful news. Im pregnant she cries.
And how do you know its yours? shouts her father.
Mrs Murphy said: I dont tink me husband has been faithful to me.
Whys that? said Mrs OToole.
Me last child dont look anything like him.
Mrs OToole said:
I can only tell you this bit of scandal once, because I promised Mrs OLeary I would never repeat it
Murphy was told by the Doctor he had two weeks to live,
so he chose the last week in July and the first week in August.
Colleen dropped a coin, intending it to fall into the blind mans hat on the pavement, but missed.
As quick as a flash he scooped it up and put it in the hat.
Youre not blind she said. No, Im not said Paddy,
Its Murphy whose blind, Im just filling in for him while hes gone to the pictures
Were looking for a Treasurer for the Xmas fund, said Paddy
Didnt you take on a new one last month? said Murphy
Thats the one were looking for, Paddy replied.
The Dublin pensioners club go on a mystery tour every Wednesday
and to make it interesting they have a sweep to guess where they are going.
Shamus, the coach driver, has won five weeks on the trot.
Paddy went to the Doc with two burnt ears. What happened, asked the Doc.
I was ironing when the phone went, he said.
How about the other one? Said the Doc.
I had to dial you for an appointment, didnt I, said Paddy.
Make it Snappy......Bob
Great.
Blues man.
