Englishman, African and an Aussie sitting in a restaurant, waiting for their food. They're looking around the place and spot a man sitting by himself drinking water in the corner. After a few minutes they recognise him as Jesus Christ himself. They agree that he's a great bloke and all chip in to buy Jesus some food.

The waiter goes over to Jesus, explains the gesture and gets the food in for him, which Jesus enjoys whole-heartedly.

After the meal, he walks over to see the three generous men. He first of all thanks them all, and shakes the hand of the Englishman.

The Englishman gets the shivers, feels all tingly etc then says "Hang about, I've had chronic arthritis in this wrist for 20 years, you've just cured it, it's a miracle!"

Jesus smiles, then shakes the hand of the African.

"Bloomin 'eck, you've cured my back! I've had problems with that for nearly 30 years, thank you Jesus!"

Jesus smiles, then turns to the Aussie, who looks terrified, turns and runs away knocking over tables and chairs. They all ask what's wrong, to which the Aussie shouts "I'm on workers comp mate - nick off!"