1. Working at the Jobcentre has to be a tense job knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day Adam Rowe
2. I had a job drilling holes for water it was well boring Leo Kearse
3. I took out a loan to pay for an exorcism. If I dont pay it back, Im going to get repossessed Olaf Falafel
4. In my last relationship, I hated being treated like a piece of meat. She was a vegan and refused to touch me Daniel Audritt
5. What do colour blind people do when they are told to eat their greens? Flo and Joan 6. Ive got a new job collecting all the jumpers left in the park at the weekends, but its not easy. They keep moving the goalposts Darren Walsh
7. Trump said hed build a wall but he hasnt even picked up a brick. Hes just another middle-aged man failing on a DIY project Justin Moorhouse
8= I lost a friend after we had an argument about the Tardis. I thought it was a little thing, but it seemed much bigger once we got into it Adele Cliff
8= Why are they calling it Brexit and not The Great British Break Off? Alex Edelman
10. I think love is like central heating. You turn it on before guests arrive and pretend its like this all the time Laura Lexx.
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Possum; AKA:- Ali El-Aziz Mohamed Gundawiathan
Sent from my imperial66 typewriter using carrier pigeon, message sticks and smoke signals.