Please excuse the language but this is well worth reading

      Australian Letter of the Year....

      This is an actual letter sent to the DFAT (Department of Foreign

      Affairs and Trade) Immigration Minister. The Commonwealth Government tried

      desperately to censure the author, but got nowhere because every

      legal person who read it nearly wet themselves laughing!

      Dear Mr. Minister,

      I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.

      How is it that K-Mart has my address and telephone number, and knows

      that I bought a television set and golf clubs from them back in 1997,

      and yet the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born

      and on what date?

      For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?

      My birth date you have in my Medicare information, and it is on all

      the income tax forms I've filed for the past 40 years.     

      It is also on my driver's licence, on the last eight passports I've ever had, on all those

      stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off planes

      over the past 30  years.

      It's also on all those insufferable census forms that I've filled out every 5 years since 1966.

      Also...  would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is

      Audrey, my father's name is Jack, and I'd be absolutely  astounded if that ever

      changed between now and when I drop dead!!!...

      ****!  What do you people do with all this information we keep having to provide??

      I apologise, Mr. Minister.  But I'm really pissed off this morning.

      Between you and me, I've had enough of all this bull****!

      You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my address!!

      What the hell is going on with your mob?  Have you got a gang of mindless

      Neanderthal idiots working there!

      And another thing, look at my damn picture...  Do I look like Bin Laden?

      I can't even grow a beard for God's  sakes. I just want to go to New Zealand and see

      my new granddaughter.  (Yes, my son interbred with a Kiwi girl). And would someone

      please tell  me, why would you give a damn whether or not I plan on visiting a farm in the

      next 15 days? In the unlikely event I ever got the urge to do something weird to a sheep

      or a horse, believe you me, I'd  sure as hell not want to tell anyone!

      Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city, and get another

     copy of my birth certificate - and to part with another $80 for the privilege of

      accessing MY OWN INFORMATION!

      Would  it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot, to assist in the

      issuance of a new passport on the same day??

      Nooooo..  that 'd  be too  easy and makes far too much sense.

      You would much prefer to have us running all over the place like chickens with our

      heads cut off, and then having to find some 'high-society' wanker to confirm

      that it's  really me in the goddamn photo! You know the photo... the one where we're

      not allowed to smile?! .... you morons.

      Signed - An Irate Australian Citizen.

      P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture, and getting

      someone in 'high-society' to confirm that it's me? Well, my family

      has been in this country since before 1850!  In 1856, one of my

      forefathers took up arms with Peter Lalor. (You do remember the

      Eureka Stockade!!) 

      I have also served in both the CMF and regular Army for something

      over 30  years (I went to Vietnam in 1967), and still have high

      security clearances. I'm also a personal friend of the president of

      the RSL... and Lt General Peter Cosgrove sends me a Christmas card

      each year.

      However, your rules require that I have to get someone "important" to

      verify who I am; You know... someone like my doctor - WHO WAS BORN

      AND RAISED IN  PAKISTAN !!!.....  a country where they either

      assassinate or hang their ex-Prime Ministers - and are suspended from

      the Commonwealth for not having the "right sort of government".

      You are all bloody idiots!