A photon is going through airport security. The TSA agent asks if he has any luggage. The photon says "No, I'm traveling light".

I'm currently dating a couple of anorexics. Two birds, one stone".

"I picked up a hitch hiker. You've got to when you hit them".

"As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn't afford a dog".

C, Eb, and G walk into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, no minors".