2 What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old? Aye matey
I bought the worlds worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, its terrible. Rndomguytf
4 This is my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder. WikiWantsYourPics
5 My friend asked me to help him round up his 37 sheep. I said 40 3shirts
6 Whats the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing. Melchiah_III
7 I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
8 I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Toronto zoo. kailey_sara
9 I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me when he was dying, it seemed very important to him that I have it. kate_winslat
10 I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I dont know what he laced them with, but Ive been tripping all day. ImHully
11 Two clowns are eating a cannibal. One turns to the other and says I think we got this joke wrong Moltenfirez
12 My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down. Spysquirrel
13 Whats the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter. alosercalledsusie
14 I poured root beer in a square glass. Now I just have beer. PM_ME_TINY_DINOSAURS
15 My friend says to me: what rhymes with orange I said: no it doesnt DinosRoar1
16 And God said to John, come forth and you shall be granted eternal life. But John came fifth and won a toaster. PM-SOME-TITS
17 How can you spot a blind man at a nude beach? It isnt hard. smhockr
18 What do we want? Low flying airplane noises! When do we want them? NNNEEEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWW Tetragon213
19 Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldnt see that well. rangers_fan2
20 Whatdya call a frenchman wearing thongs? Phillipe Phillope. Sooowhatisthis
21 Whats the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted. Dave-Stark
22 What do you call a dog that does magic tricks? A labracadabrador. leahcure
23 So what if I dont know what Armageddon means? Its not the end of the world Jefferncfc
24 I went bobsleighing the other day, killed 250 bobs breadman666
25 A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair. ImHully
26 How do you get two whales in a car? Start in England and drive west. fireworkslass
27 Ive found a job helping a one-armed typist do capital letters. Its shift work 3shirts
28 Wife says to her programmer husband, Go to the store and buy a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, buy a dozen. Husband returns with 12 loaves of bread. SuperFreakyNaughty
29 Communism jokes arent funny unless everyone gets them -georgie
30 I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said Thanks I said Dont mention it 3shirts
31 What do the movies Titanic and the sixth sense have in common. Icy dead people mysevenyearitch
32 I used to be addicted to soap, but now Im clean VictorBlimpmuscle
33 What time does Sean Connery go to Wimbledon? Tennish
35 Have you heard about those new corduroy pillows? Theyre making headlines. Deerhoof_Fan
36 I couldnt figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me. KaboomBoxer
37 Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. One shouts to the other I need you to help me get to the other side! The other guy replies You are on the other side! The2ndKingInTheNorth
38 Ever noticed that glass tastes like blood? venus_w
39 My friends say theres a gay guy in our circle of friends I really hope its Todd, hes cute. -917-
40 Ive been told Im condescending. (that means I talk down to people) iblinkyoublink
41 Guy walks into a bar and orders a fruit punch. Bartender says Pal, if you want a punch youll have to stand in line Guy looks around, but there is no punch line. justacheesyguy
42 Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. RayBrower
43 People in Dubai dont like the Flintstones. But people in Abu Dhabi do! stevenmc
44 Why dont ants get sick? Because they have little antybodies. bonanzoid
45 How did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the pizza before it was cool. plax1780
46 What thinks the unthinkable? An itheberg. mariana_m
47 A dyslexic man walks into a bra Ramundo312
__________________
Possum; AKA:- Ali El-Aziz Mohamed Gundawiathan
Sent from my imperial66 typewriter using carrier pigeon, message sticks and smoke signals.
Just checking to see who'son the ball,
48
Before your criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, youre a mile away and have their shoes.
BoxxerUOP
49
Whats ET short for?
Hes only got little legs.
3shirts
50
Whats the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?
A porcupine has pricks on the outside.
__________________
Possum; AKA:- Ali El-Aziz Mohamed Gundawiathan
Sent from my imperial66 typewriter using carrier pigeon, message sticks and smoke signals.
