check out the new remote control Jockey Wheel SmartBar Topargee products Enginesaver Low Water Alarms Red Earth Festival
Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: YOU CAN TELL 'EM IN CHURCH...


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 6208
Date:
YOU CAN TELL 'EM IN CHURCH...


 

YOU CAN TELL 'EM IN CHURCH

 

Two boys were walking home from Sunday school

after hearing a strong preaching on the devil.

One said to the other, 'What do you think about

all this Satan stuff?'

The other boy replied, 'Well, you know how

    Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your Dad.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~   

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl

whispered to her mother, 'Why is the bride dressed in white?''

 

The mother replied, 'Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.'

 

The child thought about this for a moment then said,

'So why is the groom wearing black?'   
~~~~~~~~~~~~
   

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, 'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!' While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again! As she ran she once again began to pray, 'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late, But please don't shove me either!'
 

~~~~~~~~~~~~   

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about

their fathers. The first boy says, 'My Dad scribbles

a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem,

they give him $50.'

The second boy says, 'That's nothing. My Dad

scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.'

The third boy says, 'I got you both beat. My Dad

scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!' 

~~~~~~~~~~~~   

An elderly woman died last month.

Having never married, she requested no male

pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her

memorial service, she wrote,

'They wouldn't take me out while I was alive,

I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.' 

~~~~~~~~~~~~   

A police recruit was asked during the exam,

'What would you do if you had to arrest your own

mother?'  He answered, 'Call for backup.'   
~~~~~~~~~~~~
   

A Sunday School teacher asked her class why

Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to  Jerusalem.

A small child replied, 'They couldn't get a babysitter.'   
~~~~~~~~~~~~
   

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten

Commandments with her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to 'Honor thy

father and thy mother,' she asked,

'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to

treat our brothers and sisters?'

Without missing a beat, one little boy answered,

'Thou shall not kill.'   
~~~~~~~~~~~~
   

At Sunday School they were teaching how God

created everything, including human beings.

Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they

told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.

Later in the week his mother noticed him lying

down as though he were ill, and she said, 'Johnny, what

is the matter?' Little Johnny responded,

'I have pain in my side.

I think I'm going to have a wife.'   
~~~~~~~~~~~~
   


You don't stop laughing because you grow old..

You grow old because you stop laughing!

Take heed and pass these along to people who

need a laugh. I thought you would enjoy this.

 

"They" haven't found a way to tax you for

laughing yet.



__________________


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 1723
Date:

biggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrin



__________________

Blues man.

Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.

Tweet this page Post to Digg Post to Del.icio.us
Purchase Grey Nomad bumper stickers Read our daily column, the Nomad News The Grey Nomad's Guidebook