A police officer sees a man driving around with a ute full of penguins. He pulls the guy over immediately and says: You cant drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately. The guy says OK, and drives away. The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the ute full of penguins, and theyre all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over and demands: I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday? The guy replies: I did ..... today Im taking them to the beach!
A horse walks into a bar. He walks up to the bartender and says "Give me a beer."
The bartender is stunned, so he heads to the back of the bar to speak with the owner. "Hey boss" he says, "there's a horse in the bar asking for a beer."
The bar owner pauses for a second, then replies "Well then give him one, but charge him double. Horses don't know the price of beer."
So the bartender heads back out front and hands the horse a beer. After a glance he asked "why the long face" but quickly added "You know," he quiped, "we don't get many horses around here." To which the horse angrily replies, "At these prices I'm not surprised."
