Everything Hurts, And What Doesn't Hurt, Doesn't Work.

Your Little Black Book Contains Names Only Ending In M.D.

You Get Winded Playing Chess.

You Join A Health Club And Don't Go.

You Still Chase The Opposite Sex But Don't Know Why.

You Look Forward To Dull Evenings.

You Turn Out The Lights For Economic Rather Than Romantic Reasons.

You Sit In A Rocking Chair And Can't Get It Going.

Your Knees Buckle And Your Belt Wont.

Dialing Long Distance Wears You Out.

Your Back Goes Out More Than You Do.

You Stick Your Teeth Into A Steak And They Stay There.

When You Find More Of Your Hair In The Sink Than On Your Head.

When Your Weight Goes Up And Your Height Goes Down.