Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane. Paddy ordered a whisky. The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink. He replied in disgust "I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!" Paddy handed his drink back and said "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice!"
------------oOOo-(_)-oOOo------------ Paddy calls Easy-jet to book a flight. The operator asks "How many people are flying with you?" Paddy replies "I don't know! It's your bloody plane!"
------------oOOo-(_)-oOOo------------ Two Irish couples decided to swap partners for the night. After 3 hours of amazing sex, Paddy says "I wonder how the girls are getting on".
------------oOOo-(_)-oOOo------------ Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night. She undresses, lies on the bed spread-eagled and says "You know what I want, don't you?" "Yeah," says Paddy. "The whole bed by the looks of it!" ------------oOOo-(_)-oOOo------------
Paddy, the electrician, got sacked from the U.S. prison service for not servicing the electric chair. He said in his professional opinion it was a death trap! ------------oOOo-(_)-oOOo------------ Paddy, the Irish boyfriend of the woman whose head was found on Arbroath beach was asked to identify her. A detective held up the head to which point Paddy said "I don't think that's her, she was taller than that !" ------------oOOo-(_)-oOOo------------ Paddy is said to be shocked at finding out all his cows have Bluetongue. "Be Jeysus!" he said, "I didn't even know they had mobile phones!" ) ------------oOOo-(_)-oOOo------------ Mick and Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery. Mick says "Crikey! There's a bloke here who was 152!" Paddy says "What's his name?" Mick replies "Miles, from London
