At a ****tail party, one woman said to another,

'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'

'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'                                                  

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A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: 'Husband Wanted'.

Next day she received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'

__________

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

__________   

A little boy asked his father,

'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'

Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'

__________

A young son asked, 'Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'

Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'

__________ 

Then there was a woman who said, 'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late.'

__________

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

__________

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep. 

____________________

First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'

Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

__________

Aussie Paul.