I was standing at the bar one night, minding my own business. 

This big O FAT, ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my ass and said,  "You're kind of cute; you gotta phone number?"

I said, "Yea.  You gotta pen?"

She said, "Yea, I got a pen." 

Isaid, "Youd better get back in it before the farmer misses you!" 

Cost me 6 stitches, but when you are over seventy, who cares? 

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Cowboy: "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please." 

Cashier: "Do you need a paper bagwith that, sir?"

Cowboy: "Nah.. She'spurty good lookin'....."

When you areover seventy, who cares?

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I was talking to a girlin the bar last night.

She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."

I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking toyour friends over there, instead of you."

She split my upper lip, butwhen you are over seventy,who cares?.....

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I got caught taking a pee in theswimming pool today. 

The lifeguard shoutedat me so loud, I nearly fell in.

When you are over seventy, who

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I went to the bar last night and saw this huge  FATchick dancing on a table. 

I said, "Good legs." 

The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"

I said, "Definitely! 

Most tableswould have busted by now."

She knocked me under that table, but when you are over seventy.