Two Mexicans are lost in the desert after crossing the Rio Grande into the United States. Wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says...:

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk."

"Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon."

With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon ... every imaginable kind of cured pork.

"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree!"

"Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the dessert, don't forget."

"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon... ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree." They get to about 5 metres away from the tree when a trap door opens and a machine gun pops up and starts firing. Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath:

"Pepe... go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"

"Luis, Luis mi amigo... what ees it?"

"Pepe ... ees not a bacon tree ... Ees

Ees

Ees

Ees.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Ees...........................................a ham bush...!"

(I bet you were practicing your Mexican accents!)