My Long Search for my Ideal Job

1. My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate.

2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

3. After that, I tried being a tailor, but wasn't suited for it mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

4. Next, I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too exhausting.

5. Then, tried being a chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn't have the thyme.

6. Next, I attempted being a deli worker, but any way I sliced it... couldn't cut the mustard.

7. My best job was a musician, but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.

8. I studied a long time to become a doctor, but didn't have any patience.

9. Next, was a job in a shoe factory. Tried hard but just didn't fit in.

10. I became a professional fisherman, but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.

11. Managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

12. So then I got a job in a workout centre, but they said I wasn't fit for the job. 

13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because it was the same old grind.  

15. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND I FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!

Aussie Paul.