The First Pint

Yarra · Senior Member

While reading an article last night about fathers and sons,
memories came flooding back to the time I took me son out for his first pint.

Off we went to our local pub only two blocks from the cottage.
I got him a Guinness. He didn't like it, so I drank it.
Then I got him a Kilkenny's, he didn't like that either, so I drank it.

Finally, I thought he might like some Harp Lager? He didn't. I drank it.
I thought maybe he'd like whiskey better than beer so we tried a Jameson's, nope!
In desperation, I had him try that rare Redbreast, Ireland's finest.
He wouldn't even smell it.

What could I do but drink it!
By the time I realized he just didn't like to drink, I was so drunk'
I could hardly push his stroller back home.

Spydermann · Senior Member

Airborne approximately thirty minutes on an outbound evening flight from Glasgow, the lead flight attendant for the cabin crew nervously made the following painful announcement..:

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so very sorry but it appears that there has been a terrible mix-up one minute prior to takeoff, by our airport catering service... I don't know how this has happened but we have 103 passengers on board and, unfortunately, only 40 dinner meals... We truly apologize for this mistake and inconvenience."

When passengers' muttering had died down, she continued,

"Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can eat will receive free, unlimited drinks for the duration of our 5 hour flight."

Her next announcement came 90 minutes later... "If anyone would like to
change their minds, we still have 40 dinners available."