I Was in the Texas Rose last night, at the bar waiting for a beer, when a butt-ugly, Big old heifer came up behind me, and slapped me on the ass.

She said, "Hey sexy, how about giving me your number!
I looked at her and said, "Have you got a pen?"

She said, "I sure do."

I said, " Well, you better get back into it before the farmer notices you're missing."

My dental surgery is on Monday.