A woman's husband has gone to golf and her lover comes to visit her at home while he is gone, leaving his car down the road.

They are in the bedroom making passionate love when she hears a car door slam and looking outside sees her husband coming in with his golf clubs.

She pushes her lovers clothes under the bed and tells her naked lover to get in the wardrobe and slams the door, however his family jewels are caught and exposed on the outside of the wardrobe door.

The husband comes into the bedroom and tells his wife he was feeling unwell so decided  to come home, when he notices the family jewels on the wardrobe door.   What are they he asks his wife.  Being the week before X'mas she thinks quickly and says "They are X'mas Bells".

Now the husband is not entirely a fool, so he lines up his best golf driver and gives them an almighty "whack".   Not a sound comes from the wardrobe. "Hmmmmm, not much good they don't even ring, I'll try them again"

As he lines up again a high pitched voice screams from the wardrobe " AAAAAAAA Bloody DDDDDing,  AAAAA Bloody DDDDDong ".